Gerald D'Cunha

  “Keep your face to the sunshine, and you cannot see the shadow. It’s what sunflowers do.” Helen Keller   I don’t think, that there is anyone around us, who doesn’t realize the importance of being positive in life. Yes, the energy and motivation to do well and do good in life come from a positive state of mind. But, I, also, don’t think, that there is anyone around us, who thinks it’s possible to stay positive, ‘always’. Writing by blogs, teaching my students and several such activities give me the greatest joy. That is the positive space I long to be in… But, I have seen, during the course of writing and teaching, that, at times, I can literally touch the negativity… Irritations, frustrations, gloom, lack, impatience and, even, arrogance. All this springs up right through my day… There are times, when I tend to lose trust in people, lose hope… feel bitter about life… But, but, but… Not always. Mercifully, these gloomy bouts, like smokey clouds, do pass quickly, l...

  “If you want to test your memory, try recalling what you were worrying about one year ago.” E. Joseph Crossman   T hose who know me only through my blogs and books, think that I am a calm and composed person, who they can seek advise from whenever they are anxious and worried in their lives. On the other hand, those who know me closely through my daily association with them – and not through my blogs or books – yes, they think, that I am a perpetually anxious and worried soul! They fondly call me ‘Worry D’Cunha’, instead of Gerry D’Cunha! And, yes, they seriously think, that I need to take things not so seriously and should do something about my ‘nerves’. Which means, seek help from some therapist! So, who is the real ‘Me’ – the one who is ‘sought’ or the one who ‘seeks’? Let me confess, all over again, and with all the humility in my heart: If I wasn’t an anxious and worried soul, I wouldn’t have written my daily blogs or any of my books… Anxiety and worryin...

  “Some only survive on your reaction. Let them starve.” Christine E. Szymanski   I t’s neither possible nor necessary to acknowledge each and every thing that comes our way; let alone react to them.   Yet, that’s exactly many of us seem to be doing… We try to stop on our way to see every passerby, every passing vehicle, every passing activity, every passing argument, fight or sight… and react. Every morning and every night, and through every day, we all receive a thousand things – good, bad and ugly – in our ‘inbox’, both digital and non-digital.   Do we have to stop to ‘read’, internalize, react or respond to each one of them? One of the fall outs of this crazy digital world is, that all kinds of people try to send us all kinds of stuff… It’s not possible to stop and acknowledge them or respond to them… There is, always, a choice to decide the privacy settings of our own choice; there is an option to click ‘Not interested’. Likewise, in life outside...

“Divided by politics, united by Old Monk!” I still smile recalling this status on FB by a friend of mine who was, is and will be a fierce bhak t of the government at the centre. This friend of mine is a successful professional; and, needless to say, that he has clients and professional colleagues, who either blindly prostrate before the leaders of current regime, or outright condemn them. I was unable to understand, being a successful professional, why was he inviting such extreme reactions from his clients and professional colleagues with his relentless attack on the opposition and dawn-to-dusk veneration of the regime he loved… Bad professionalism and a bad friendship! Yes, that’s how, I personally perceived this senseless public display of love and hate. There was another gentleman in the friend-list of my friend. He was a senior professional and even more successful. This gentleman hated the current regime like one hated the Ammonia smell. Every post of my friend showing his...

“ If you are afraid of being lonely, don’t try to be right.” Jules Renard W e will be completing four months of State-imposed isolation… Call it by its much-detested name - ‘Lockdown’. Some of us – which includes me – have never stepped out of our doors during these four months. And, we have no idea as to how long it may continue. Little children, young boys and girls, adults and elderly - all are ‘forced’ to be locked inside. Yes, for our own good… No doubt about it… No complaints about it. But, then, we were never used to live like this… We were social animals – We were out most of the day… We loved to be with our friends and colleagues… We loved to attend social events, prayer services…   We went out for movies, shopping and outings. Young boys and girls, who were head-over-heels in love, now must be dying! No one is spared… No one. So, in times like these, when someone checks on me, with a call or a text message -   “How’re you?”, what should I say? -...

“God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers  and clouds and stars.” -       Martin Luther T oday was a public holiday, here in Maharashtra, on account of Maha Shivaratri. But, I was working. Suraj, my 11 th standard student, had turned up (as usual!) without doing his homework… He put the blame on Lord Shiva… “Sir, I was awake the whole night along with my family, at our temple,” Suraj justified, “How could I complete my homework?” “Wow, a holy excuse!” I said sarcastically, “ Olagina guttu, Shivane Bhalla.” “What is that supposed to be?” Suraj was clueless about my this saying in   Kannada … “It’s supposed to be this,” I explained, “God alone knows the inside secret… the ‘real story’ in your case.” “Shiva knows the real story, Sir,” Suraj justified, “I was awake the whole night in His temple… It’s not a holy excuse as you think.” “You had, at your disposal, the...

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” -      Johann Wolfgang von Goethe W hat is not required, should go… What is not important, not to be involved in. It doesn’t matter who picks up what you drop… It really doesn’t matter who takes the credit for what you have not decided to involve in. Most of us learn the importance of ‘priorities’ in life only the hard way. A few bruises, even wounds, are mandatory prerequisites. Or, so it seems! Health becomes a priority, for most of us, only when we start losing it. I said ‘for most of us’. Similarly, those of us who keep professing the futility of money and its danger, only begin to realize its importance only when we are driven to the wall when we don’t have it… And, those of us, who are obsessed with it, begin to sense the value of ‘things other than money’ only when the money that we amass cannot be of any help to us… Some o...

I s it possible for us to stay motivated always? Maybe, it is possible for ‘super humans’. But, for most of us here – humans, I mean – I don’t think it is possible. Oh Yes. To stay motivated ‘most of the times’ – not ‘all the times’ - I think, it is possible. From my own experience, I can say this: Our motivation is, always, linked to our goals… What we desire to achieve… How important for us to achieve it. So, if our goals are not clear and steadfast, desire is not intense and resolve is not strong, our motivation cannot last. Yet, let’s accept it: We are humans… Not super humans. When we face setbacks and when we get wounded, are we not supposed to take a break, step back and spend some time licking our own wounds? I have done that umpteen times. Yes, it’s okay to feel down and depressed… It is okay, sometimes, to doubt our abilities, paths and step back for a while. It is okay to let go our efforts for a while… Just rejuvenate… Lic...

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” —  Maya Angelou I was talking to a friend of mine, last morning. She is very qualified and articulate. Before she got married, she had worked for many years in a reputed company. But, once her two sons were born, she chose to quit her well-paying job and focus fully on her family. Her husband holds a top   position in one of the blue chip companies in India, while her two sons have finished their studies… One is well-placed in a company and other is about to join. A significant part of my friend’s life, in the last three decades or so, has been devoted towards her parents’ care. The aged and ailing parents live on their own in the same city as my friend lives. So, like the lives of several others from the  so-called ‘Sandwiched generation’, my friend’s life, too, is stuffed between the families of   paren...

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”  ―  J.K. Rowling,  Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets “We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”  ―  J.K. Rowling,  Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix I haven’t read a single Harry Potter book… I have only watched one – the very first – Harry Potter movie. Now, even if you think, I am dumb, it’s alright; but, here is my truth: I couldn’t understand, at all, what was going on there, when I tried to read the very first book! Little kids have read all the books, I know… and, kids, young ones and adults have raved about the movies. Good for them, really. But, I have been clueless about a lot of Harry Potter stuff… Anyway, whether J.K. Rowling’s famous tales are really so great is not the issue here. The books and movies, sure...