BEFRIENDING WHAT WE DO NOT LIKE

 



“If you want to test your memory,

try recalling what you were worrying about one year ago.”

E. Joseph Crossman

 

Those who know me only through my blogs and books, think that I am a calm and composed person, who they can seek advise from whenever they are anxious and worried in their lives.

On the other hand, those who know me closely through my daily association with them – and not through my blogs or books – yes, they think, that I am a perpetually anxious and worried soul! They fondly call me ‘Worry D’Cunha’, instead of Gerry D’Cunha! And, yes, they seriously think, that I need to take things not so seriously and should do something about my ‘nerves’. Which means, seek help from some therapist!

So, who is the real ‘Me’ – the one who is ‘sought’ or the one who ‘seeks’?

Let me confess, all over again, and with all the humility in my heart: If I wasn’t an anxious and worried soul, I wouldn’t have written my daily blogs or any of my books…

Anxiety and worrying are not the healthy signs of one’s  well-being; I know that. I also know, that no one in his senses wants to embrace them…

With that, my understanding ends…






One of the many things that adds extra stress on my already existing anxiety is my subconscious need to do things ‘perfectly’. Over the years, I have learnt to identify this invisible need in my being and deal with it. Now, every time I set goals and  deadlines, and every time I do my plans to achieve them, I try to consciously remind myself, that despite all the commitments to my goals, and despite the best of my plans, things can go the way I haven’t desired… Yes, they can, and they do. I have learnt to remind myself, that I need to be a lot tolerant towards my own limitations… and even more tolerant towards people around me who are instrumental in helping me achieve what I want…

What is the use of achieving my goals and, in the process, hurting and losing people who help me achieve them?

That’s exactly, I think, many of us go about doing… “Accomplish at any cost!” The cost is heavy, Sir… and, at hindsight, such achievements – such ‘perfection’ – doesn’t seem worth it.

Some advise us, that we should never ‘own up’ any disease, including a mental state of mind like anxiety and worry. The reason they give is, that when we say, ‘I have diabetes’ or ‘I have anxiety’, we end up empowering our own diseases… They become stronger and they refuse to go.

I have thought over this piece of advice and formed my own opinion on it. If my diabetes or anxiety should leave me, I need to first admit, that I have them in me… I should recognize the havoc they play in my life… I should work towards leading a Life - either totally free from them or from their havoc…





Life needn’t be a wasteland, just because some diseases – be it diabetes, cancer,  anxiety, worry, depression whatever – have come to live in us. To make Life a fertile land is always one’s choice… Often, this choice calls for befriending what we do not like…

I do not like my anxiety and worry… I do not like to be called ‘Worry D’Cunha’!


GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic’s: pixabay

Video: Harry Balafonte/Dezso Nyari

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