THE CANDLE THAT WE CHOSE TO LIGHT

 

“When you choose one way out of many,

all the ways you don’t take are snuffed out like candles

as if they’d never existed.”

Philip Pullman

 

I was talking to a friend of mine, last afternoon. He is slightly younger than I am. He hailed from a very humble South Indian family and had to go through a lot of hardships to complete his education. Being very focused and determined, he completed his Chartered Accountancy in his first attempt. It was time to make the crucial choice: to accept the best offer for a well-paying job, or to set up his own Chartered Accountancy firm from the scratch… My friend chose the latter. With that choice came the endless struggle to make his way up!

My friend and I, both, started our respective careers almost simultaneously; and our journeys, of being self-employed professionals, very much resembled. Idealism, dynamism, simplicity, loyalty, commitment, hard-work, passion – everything seemed similar. The kind of households we both came from – the painful memories of lack of financial resources, the alcoholism of our fathers, the responsibility towards our parents and siblings… yes, the stories seemed identical.

Despite all this, we both seemed to have made the identical choices : to go by our hearts… to go up slowly and steadily … never succumb to the temptation of easy-money or short-cuts, come what may…

And, like a strange mystery, we both had to fight Cancer while were approaching age 60!

Both of us have been lucky to survive… So far so good… God has been really kind to us!

Last afternoon, we also discussed about our children’s future plans. We both wanted them to make their own choices and face the consequences as we both did. We both had given our children the privileges we were most capable of giving. But, we both knew, that it’s for them to make their own choices, as far as their future was concerned.

But, we both wished - very, very sincerely -  that our children should do well financially!

We were asking these questions:

“Are we harbouring any silent regrets for having chosen our respective, untrodden paths?”

“Are we  both tired, or bitter?”

“Are we happy about whatever we had accomplished in our lives?”

Incidentally, both of us were on the same page – when it came to answers to the above questions…

We both harboured no silent regrets at all… not an ounce of it!

We both were happy, content, proud and felt fulfilled even though there were umpteen moments of being exhausted and anxious…

We both were incredibly satisfied with the choices we had made, and with whatever we were able to accomplish in our lives…

We both felt what Philip Pullman said:

“When you choose one way out of many,

all the ways you don’t take are snuffed out like candles

as if they’d never existed.”

 

The candle, that my friend and I chose to light, is still burning!

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

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