Gerald D'Cunha

  “Do not cross the bridge till you come to it.” A proverb   I t’s said, that worrying is like trying to cross the bridge before it comes. Today, suddenly, a couple of things have started occupying my mind space… I, suddenly, feel overwhelmed by these thoughts and find myself worrying. Interestingly, these things, which are weighing me down, lie in the future. When I calmly look at them, I am able to see the reality, that worrying about them is simply going to drain my energy… It’s not going to help me. Instead, if I slowly and steadily approach towards this distant bridge, I will be able to find strength to cross it… And, cross I will… For, I have crossed many, many such ‘distant bridges’ in my past, too… However, there is merit in being aware of these distant bridges… When I know, that I will have to cross them, whenever I come to them, it’s important to stay vigilant. Through this, I am able to prepare myself to cross it. Yes, burying my eyes in the sand and...

  “Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.” Kahlil Gibran   W hy do we call some things in our lives – ‘a pleasant surprise’? For these two obvious reasons: 1. It’s pleasant 2. It comes as a surprise. No matter how frantically you and I try to control our future, we simply cannot. We can only think about our future… plan for it, work for it and, even, pray for it. But, beyond that, we cannot do anything. Like many around me, I, too, have spent too many sleepless nights worrying over my future. But, what has happened in my life, yes, a large part of it had not been thought over or planned about. It has come as a pure surprise. Yes, mostly pleasant… Some, unpleasant. When I see this reality, I learn to let go of my need to control the outcome of my efforts. I learn to do my work with all my heart, with total focus and dedication. That done, I learn to simply trust the kind Universe to do the rest. Money, health,...

  “When you choose one way out of many, all the ways you don’t take are snuffed out like candles as if they’d never existed.” Philip Pullman   I was talking to a friend of mine, last afternoon. He is slightly younger than I am. He hailed from a very humble South Indian family and had to go through a lot of hardships to complete his education. Being very focused and determined, he completed his Chartered Accountancy in his first attempt. It was time to make the crucial choice: to accept the best offer for a well-paying job, or to set up his own Chartered Accountancy firm from the scratch… My friend chose the latter. With that choice came the endless struggle to make his way up! My friend and I, both, started our respective careers almost simultaneously; and our journeys, of being self-employed professionals, very much resembled. Idealism, dynamism, simplicity, loyalty, commitment, hard-work, passion – everything seemed similar. The kind of households we both came f...

  “Every child comes with the message, that God is not yet discouraged of man.” Rabindranath Tagore   M y wife and I have just returned after visiting Hardeep’s house. Hardeep is a friend of ours, who got married quite late in life. After marriage, she moved to Gurgaon where her hubby had been living. Presently, she is in Mumbai for a few weeks with her three-month-old baby-girl. So, my wife and I wanted to see both, the baby and the mother… The baby was fast asleep, with her tender hands raised the way the smiling/ laughing   Buddha did. In fact, in her sleep, the baby was smiling! For a while, I stood there mesmerized, reflecting over what Lish McBride had said: “You know what the great thing about babies is? They are like the bundles of hope… Like the future in a basket.” How I wished the baby in this basket remained a baby in the future, too! If alone the wishes were horses!!! You and I have been once babies like this little bundle of joy is… We,...

Pic.: Chetna Shetty “Don’t bring up the past of a person who is trying to improve his future.”  - Unknown S ounds familiar? My friend, Deepak, had shared this quote, this morning. The moment I saw it, I could sense the familiar mixed feelings in my heart … I have, often, felt angry when people in my life - despite knowing that I have been trying to improve my future, putting behind my past – have kept bringing up my past … Yes, it has only derailed the process of change. And, often, I have been guilty for bringing up the past of someone … yes, despite knowing that he has been trying to put behind his past and improve his future. Past is a grave. If I try to dig it, I know what to expect … Yet, often, I do it in my  times of ignorance … mostly when I am hurt, annoyed or insecure … when I am trying to get even, trying to settle score … when ego clouds my thinking … And, I know, whenever someone has done ...

Pic.: Chetna Shetty A couple of days ago, a friend of mine pointed to some of The Dawn Club activities and events of the past and wondered if they had yielded the ‘desired results’. “Have they just gone wasted?” he was concerned. I took a long pause before I could reply to my friend.  The question was so familiar to me; for, more than I had heard my well-wishers asking this to me, I have asked this to myself. Inside me, there had been – there still are – two voices… One, soars, dreams, trusts, embraces, laughs, rejoices… The other sulks, dreads, doubts, distances, broods and despairs…. One comes from the sphere of abundance… The other comes from the sphere of lack… One makes me walk into the world with my open arms, the other, with my guarded fists… So, to this concerned friend of mine, I replied, “No, not at all… Every activity we did seem to me as the connecting dots… They have brought us here, today.” Another friend of mine, who was with us, c...

Pic.: Aparna Khanolkar Sheth “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” - Neale Donald Walsch “ I t is so difficult to get a job, but it is even more difficult to leave one. It, really, needs guts my dear... Enjoy life the way you like!” This was how Indrani  responded to her near-and-dear Tandra, on reading what Tandra had just written on her FB status: “YES,  I am on a job sabbatical... and here's what its like: My house gets all the sunlight for most part of the day... because, I am there to draw the curtains when needed... My culinary skills seem to have come out of the dormancy or weekend mode... My voice [speaking/singing] is no more embarrassing.....in fact, my karaokes are splendid... Most gadgets and things are fixed and are not waiting for a weekend Mom and dad - and, for that matter, my spouse - can call me anytime....esp in need to speak Some old friendships have got a new life... Vacations nee...

  Pic.: Sherry Haridas “You can count the seeds in an apple, but you can’t count the apples in a seed.  When you teach, you will never know how many lives you will influence… you are teaching for eternity.” -Jensen   Y esterday was Mahashivratri. At 8, at night, I was on my way home when I saw someone hurrying towards me. “Good evening sir; do you remember me?” “Oh yes, yes... I do,” I said extending my hand to the young-man, “So, what’s happening?” “Sir, you used to repeatedly remind me about studying well and focus on my career;” the young-one said genuinely, “but, I never listened to you... I, now, regret.” In times like this, I do not remind the young-ones about their past mistakes, all over again. So, I pressed the young-man’s hand and said, “Don’t worry, tell me what you have been doing since I saw you last?” The last time I had seen the young-man was some six years ago. He w...

 Pic.: Madan Manik W henever the thoughts of scarcity creep up in my mind and leave me anxious, I allow myself to experience the feeling of discomfort and fear fully. Pumping myself with bravado is a momentary relief… as it only serves as a band-aid treatment for my anxiety… So, the ideal treatment, which, I have found is: allow myself to experience the anxiety fully… It goes! When my health is bad, when I run out of cash, when there is strain in my relationships… yes, whenever lack of any kind stares at me, scares me… I think, that’s the best time to slowdown in life… introspect… realign myself… make necessary amends and keep moving on! Just as a body ailment is a blessing in disguise - if I can see it as Nature’s plan to make me aware of our body’s well-being and act responsible towards it, take good care of it - Yes, just as a heartache, too, is a blessing in disguise - if I can see it as Nature’s plan to make me aware of my heart’s well-being and ac...

Pic.: Fr. Reginald Pinto I am very fond of both the US President Mr. Barack Obama and our own P.M., Mr. Manmohan Singh. I have, always, held them to be very sincere, extremely committed and exceptionally knowledgeable leaders. So, when they face huge problems, I feel bad for them. Our P.M. never craved to become country’s Prime Minister. Yet, he was destined to… and, for such a long tenure. Things in our country have gone bad. Well, the Congress-baiters would immediately conclude, “All because of the Congress misrule… and, our P.M.’s lackluster leadership.” President Obama’s problems are a hundred-fold bigger - even messier and even scarier - than our P.M.’s. For all these days, when the newspapers and televisions were talking about the US debt-limit, I really did not realize how big it was. I just happened to see that figure, today: US- Dollar 16.7 trillion! Imagine, the most prosperous and the mightiest nation on Earth – th...

    The best way to approach life, with less anxiety about our future, is to know what we are good at and pursue it wholeheartedly. And, as we go about it, be brutally sincere to our commitments and people… Be warm and courteous to them. I said this to a middle-aged man, this morning, who was a lot worried about his sagging business. He was just 40; but, a lot anxious. I gave my example. “Look, what is my profession? I am just a teacher. Now, am I not worried about my future? Certainly, I am. But, then, what I go back to, again and again, is the core strength which holds me together – my teaching skill. Things are changing in my field like shades of the sky… fast and unpredictable they are. But, teaching is teaching… I must love it; I must be damn good in it. I must be good to my students and parents… Be brutally sincere to my commitments and work ethics… The more I focus on it, the less anxious I turn…” Well, I gave the examples of great Amitabh Bac...