Gerald D'Cunha

“T here is no free lunch in life,” I told  Varun*, this morning. He had come to attend the Tax class (Direct Tax). Varun’s parents, who are both doctors, are my friends. Some months ago, when Varun had decided to change his stream from Engineering to Commerce, I was approached to do two things: 1. To provide a solid foundation to Varun in important Commerce subjects like Accountancy, Costing and Taxation so that he would be able to take off smoothly. 2. To motivate him to be a self-starter and develop a winning attitude. I have had wonderful experience over last two-three months. Varun has been very receptive and has not disappointed me. However, as a young boy, Varun is no different from his peers… He loves to chill out with his friends, play competitive football and video games, watch movies and attend late-night parties… Move around with friends, both boys and girls… invite them over for lunch and sleep-overs… And, importantly, bully his kid brother,...

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.”  ―  Socrates T he desire to grow financially, improve the standard of living and secure the future of our family members – yes, I think, it is one of the most powerful human drives. The poor want to come out of their poverty and the rich want to become ever richer… The drive is the same… Only the sizes of their ‘wants’ – I said ‘wants’, not ‘needs’ – differ. A poor man, who doesn’t have a house of his own, desires to have one of his own. So, ideally, with a small house of 1-BHK or 2-BHK, he should be content. On the other hand, a rich man, with a big mansion, should be content with what he has already got. But, the poor man desires for even better house and life style and the rich man desires for even bigger mansion, more luxurious cars and material things in life. It shows in their family’s lifestyles, including weddings and holidays....

I once heard Oprah Winfrey saying in one of her talk shows, “Your fame only implies that more number of people know you than they know others.” True. If more number of people know you (than they know others) for a good reason, you are obviously hailed as ‘famous’. On the other hand, if more number of people know you for a wrong reason, you are damned as ‘notorious’! Often, people try to become famous by moving heaven and earth; but, they just don’t get there… And, sometimes, just by a ‘wink’, someone does… Logic may not explain that phenomenon… Maybe Luck does! How else will you explain this phenomenon called ‘Priya Prakash Varrier’ – the 18-year-old girl who ‘winked’ her way to overnight-fame? M y friend, Dr. Deepak, had a very witty way of telling the young ones, that they should not expect to get success or fame just the way they expected to get an instant coffee… “It takes twenty long- years to become an overnight success,” he would drill into ...

“Nobody sees anybody truly but all through the flaws of their own egos. -”Tennessee Williams T here is a ‘trap’ in which we all fall into: Doing what we love the most! Now, I may sound wired when I say this. “How can doing what we love the most can entrap us?” I hear this question. Like the majority, I, too, believe in seeking happiness in life by following my heart… by doing what I love the most. And, therefore, I have chosen that path for being happy in life… I have done - and am still doing and shall be alwaysl doing – exactly the same… Do what I love and love what I do! But, along this path, I have realized this truth: Often, along our happiness path, we may be blinded… become mechanical, compulsive and even egoistic. What we love to do should come from a very, very clean space… and not from a need to prove our worth to others, seek others’ approval and validation, the need to be visible, feel praised and compli...

I think, forgiveness does not necessarily need two people – the forgiver and the forgiven. One person is enough… and, that can be either of the two. Yes, if I seek forgiveness from you and you forgive me, it is an ideal situation. But, in real life, there are no ‘ideal’ situations. The only ideal is: if there is no forgiveness, there is no peace… and, if there is no peace, Life is miserable. A hell! I was talking to a young man a while ago, who was angry at his father. It seems, last night, a small argument lead to a physical brawl between the father and the son. And, the young man was not in a position to accept this behavior from his father. As I knew the father too very well, I got father’s version as well… Even he said the same thing, “I am not prepared to accept my son’s behaviour.” So, what now? Is it a dead-end? Is there hope or no hope? There is hope… Because, there are no dead-ends in life. For a sensible and teachable human being, all dead-en...

“Slow down... Life is crossing the road.” ―  Debasish Mridha R ight now, my body, mind and heart – all three yearn to rest. “Enough of aggression,” I hear them remind me, “Slow down… Keep your tools down… Just yield.” Almost four to five hours in the morning, today, I found myself in an aggressive mode – aggressive in the sense: I was result oriented, my words were piercing, patience was on the edge… and I could feel I was getting the work done from my students. Yes, there was that immediate sense of achievement… But, when it was all over, I could also feel the vacuum… the energy was all depleted… all my students gone and I was left alone, here, to wonder: If there was another way of going about it… A way where my energy would be conserved, words not as pricing as they were and patience not as edgy as it was… So, now, when I have dropped my tools and aggression and able to reflect, yes, I do feel, that there certainly was anoth...

“The soul that gives thanks can find comfort in everything; the soul that complains can find comfort in nothing.”  ―  Hannah Whitall Smith M y problems and my suffering are always mine… They are ‘big’… till I see someone else’s problems and suffering and realize how ‘small’ mine are. When I am stuck in my own ‘selfish’ world of self-pity and blame, I can never see how small my problems and suffering are… It is all about I, me and myself. Acceptance, I know, is the key to end my suffering. But, acceptance doesn’t come to me easily. When it does, it, invariably, comes via the long route called – ‘resistance’… Yes, when I am grief-stricken, I cry and keep asking ‘Why me?’... I throw resistance… I remain a victim. I have come to realize, that the state of acceptance is a state of grace…  Only prayerful and grateful hearts are blessed with this state. Life has problems and I am not alone in this… There are mill...

I n today’s Bombay Times, there are these quotes from two of our Bollywood ladies. I am sharing them here: “When you are patriotic, it comes out in the most subtle ways. So, you don’t have to wait for that one particular day to celebrate it. You can do it all year long. Wearing your patriotism on your sleeve isn’t as important as truly feeling the emotion in your heart.” -          Alia Bhatt -            “One should not be forced to exhibit any sort of patriotism, it has to be organic. We can do a lot of things to show our love for our country, but let’s start from keeping it clean. Treat it like your homes, even when we step out of our houses, we must do that.” -          Vidya Balan -            Today, as we celebrate the 69 th Republic Day of our beloved nation, we have to ...

“It is hard to befool a fool who has already been fooled so many times”  ―  Munia Khan I did not intend to write a word on the controversy surrounding Sanjay Leela Bansali’s film ‘Padmavati’, which, now has been renamed as ‘Padmavat’. Having seen in the past many, many such controversies – be it relating to a movie, play, book, song, painting or even a tweet – I knew from the day one, that it was a deliberate act, stage-managed by many self-interested parties… where the main objective is to divert the attention of the masses from the most worrisome issues plaguing the nation… Yes, from my past experience, I knew it… that, Bansali and his film just happened to be there in the crossfire… Just as the school bus ferrying tender children and the innocent people and their hard-earned property happened to be there… I don’t watch the TV debates about ‘Padmavat’… When I do, I get a disgusting feeling in stomach! I find the anchors, spoke...