Thursday, January 28, 2010

MERCY

If I had gone to bed, last night, with thoughts of fear concealed in my heart, how could I rise, this morning, feeling confident, courageous? Likewise, if I had ended my night with a hundred complaints tucked under my heart, how could I expect to see a bright Sun outside, this morning?

When I first heard someone making this statement - "The greatest miracle you have witnessed, today, is the fact that you woke up this morning... that, you are alive, now!" , I had, instantly, loved it, felt inspired by it. Just to think, and feel deeply, that I had that privilege, that grace, is, truly, humbling. It is, truly, a spiritual experience. I completely believe, that, if I am capable of going through such a profound experience, I do not need to offer any more prayer. That feeling, that experience, itself is a true prayer. Whether I kneel down or raise my hands unto the heavens, whether I garland my Deity or chant before Him... I think, all this is immaterial. I just need to feel, deeply and truly, that I had this privilege, this grace... that, 'Some one' bestowed mercy on me... granted me one more day... one more chance.

Yes, I woke up this morning... I am alive, now! Yes, as I write this piece, I can feel the profundity of this statement; I can experience that touch of grace, that breath of mercy.

But, it doesn't happen all the time... in fact, most of the time. Most of the time, I retire, at night, feeling scared and anxious... feeling resentful, angry or sorrowful. I try to close my eyes with lots of self-pity or blame. And, obviously, when I rise, the next morning, I see the harvest of my seeds. Why am I not able to see this simple connection, this simple truth, so often? It is a great puzzle for me.

Life becomes easy, less complicated, when the gap between 'what I know' and 'what I do' becomes less and less... When there is internal integrity. Peace, that inner silence, comes with it... effortlessly.

So, this morning, when I am able to go through that less frequent experience of peace, I am able to experience, also, a prayerful state in my heart. I see myself saying, again and again and again - "Lord, thank you for showing mercy on me." Moments like these, help me realise the difference between the two prayers: "Lord, have mercy on me," and "Lord, thank you for showing mercy on me."

That realisation, too, is a miracle. Thank you, Lord.


GERALD D'CUNHA

2 comments:

Ashish said...

Dear Jerry,
Wonderful!
when I went last night to bed, I was feeling the same,resentful sorrowful angry betrayed.
When I got up the feelings were still there but had calmed down from vengeance to 'harsh' facts of life.
But the best thing which I did this morning was to read 'Mercy'.
when the writing comes from personal feelings, and straight from heart, with right words used at right place,It creates magic.
It influences youin a positive way and forces you to ponder.
Thats what 'Mercy' did today. I am feeling much better,trying to forget what I have gone through, thank to God that he bestowed me one more beautiful day to pull up and feel better.
Thanks for inspiring and providing a perspective, which any ways you do beautifully, every day :)

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Hey Ashish,
Now, I do not know - who inspires whom! I am equally inspired by your honesty.

After so many years, it only becomes clearer and clearer to me, each day, that peace is impossible unless we bring our 'guard' down, and right now.

Pl write to me often.

Thanks and regards,

GERRY