THE MONDAY BLUES

So, now, the Easter is over. It is a Monday… and, I have these familiar Monday Blues right from the time I opened my eyes, this morning. 

“Monday Blues are only in your mind,” some Mondays back, someone had tried to counsel me. I was feeling low and jittery as I do today. But then, I am feeling these blues today – on this Monday – for a specific reason: I suddenly remembered, while opening my eyes, today, that I hadn’t sent my Easter wishes to a couple of ‘significant’ people in my life!

I don’t know which side of my brain was making me think and feel bad like that; because, within seconds, from another side of my brain, came this justification: “Relax buddy. Neither have you received any greetings from these ‘significant’ people!”

Well, it did seem that we had squared-up… and, the scores had been settled. So, it did seem for a while that I should not feel those blues… and, I should go about smiling, up-beat.

But, no; the blues were back, and back again.

Easter wishes had started pouring in right since Saturday morning… It seemed, everyone wanted to be the ‘first one’ to send me the wishes… and, for a while, I tried to get back – ‘Thank you… Wish u the same,’… But, after a while, I became tired and gave up. 

Honestly, I don’t like to do things in my life, mechanically… where I don’t put my heart. 

“Just because everyone wishes, I should,”… Is this the reason for my wishing?

“Just because, someone has not wished me,”… Is this the reason for me to conclude, “He loves and cares for me less”?

Now, that the traffic is cleared… and, nobody is ‘bombarded’ with such insane ‘honking’… So, can’t I wish those dear ones, whom I had missed yesterday – “A Happy Easter, dear”?

“Why? Was all ‘happiness’ confined to only the Easter Sunday?

It has happened so many times in my life: That, I have wished the whole world ‘A Happy Christmas’ or ‘A Happy New Year’… and, blissfully missed those who live with me, under my own roof!

Well, I hope, I am not an ‘alien’ when it comes to such things… and, even if the world swears I am… I will dust-off my shoes and walk away from that swearing… 

My love for those who live with me will not diminish, nor their happiness, even though I have failed to greet them on Christmas or New Year. Now, on Easter!

There is a vegetable vendor right outside our popular fish market. I call him a ‘live-wire’. Just watching him go about his work – his dialogues, charm, patience, energy and even the confidence in which he speaks his broken-English with his customers – it is a sheer feast for eyes, ears and heart. So often, I have ended up buying from him things which I had not intended to… He is so good, so persuasive, so charming. I remember, harping about him in our Personality Development sessions. “This man hasn’t been to ‘Finishing Schools’ like you do,” I would remind them, “You just need that desire and zest to do well in life.”

So, yesterday – on the Easter Sunday – I had been to this vendor. As usual, the customers had thronged around him and he was going about his sales-action as he did always. But, there was a difference, this time. His teenager son was there to assist him. These are summer holidays and the father wanted his son to pick some tricks of his trade. But, the son did not seem so enthusiastic… and, evidently, the father was upset. “You dumb idiot,” he was yelling, oblivious about what we would think about him, “Can’t you see the ‘customer’ is standing next to you… Can’t you ask, can’t you talk?” He was abusive, and utterly insensitive to his young son’s fragile feelings.

Oh Mercy! The customer is more important than your own son!

I really felt bad for that young boy. 

For so many years, I had been raving about this vendor with the ‘Midas Touch’… and, now, all that I had thought about him was wrong, hollow. It was hypocrisy of the worst kind!

On my way back, my mind was restless. I picked a two-liter chilled-Pepsi and when I reached our Society gate, I handed over it to the Security. “Please share it with the house-keeping ladies and the Gardner too,” I said.

There was a sudden sparkle on the faces of those security men. Their clothes were soaked with sweat… and, my mind was burning…

I did not tell them why? Nor did I tell them it was Easter…!

After reaching home, I saw to it that, 


every greeting that I sent 


had the consent of my heart. 


It was hypocrisy to wish someone a ‘Happy Easter’


 when my mind was burning… 


and, the heart restless…

So, what sin have I committed by failing to wish some of my dear ones, yesterday?

Do I love them less?

Don’t I wish them happiness in their life?

What is important: the feelings of my customer or the feelings of my own son?

 

While leaving our Society gate, this morning, I remembered the reason why I had given them that chilled Pepsi… 

Even though they didn’t!

“A Happy Easter,” to all  my dear ones, who I had skipped yesterday.

I want you to be ‘happy’ always… as I want me to be!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: Raj Dhage Wai