WHY THE FALCONS FAIL?

 

I was very afraid of exams. Very, very afraid!

I still remember that late evening, when I came home after my twelfth-standard Board exam. It was English paper… and, I was crying like hell. “Mom, I going to fail,” was what I was telling her, again and again. I remember doing that before her till she held me close and said, “Don’t worry my son… It is okay for us,  even if you fail!”

My mom wasn’t an educated woman. I was the first amongst her five sons, who had ever walked into a college… Maybe her best sheep… maybe her hope… her tomorrow… Still, when I was crying inconsolably, gripped with fear, that I might fail in the exams, I might lose a year, I might let her and my dad down… here she was, right next to me, standing like the Rock of Gibraltar, and consoling me, “Don’t worry my son… It is okay for us even if you fail!”

She had meant every letter in her line…!

Because, that night, the heavy weight of anxiety, fear and grief had instantly fallen off my heart… and, I had looked up to the skies and cried, “Hey, thank you God for giving me such parents!”

And yes, I, too, had meant every breath of my cry… which I had sent that night, unto the skies!

I have a thousand reasons why I should thank God for giving me my humble parents, especially my ultra-humble mom. But, her words, on that late evening, shall, forever remain the special reason why I would thank God in a special way… It had made me feel I was okay in their eyes... even if I had failed in the eyes of the world… It had made a huge, huge difference in my heart… I had, instantly, shot into the skies, like A Falcon… and, knew, I was a Falcon!

“I am there by you… my baby!”… If you have not told your children this, please, for heaven's sake, tell them now, “I am there!”

“Yes, in your good times and bad times, in your laughter and tears... in your success and failures… You, my baby!”

Yes, tell your children – your ‘babies’ – this, if you have not told, yet. And, mean every breath of your promise… Tell it to them till you see them soar high like Falcons into the God’s majestic skies!

And, you young Falcons – when you soar high in the skies, when you float through the Sun-kissed clouds, tell God – who is there just a hug away from you – tell Him, “Thank you!"... Thank you for giving you parents who love you, believe in you… and, let you float amongst the glowing Stars.

I am a teacher now… I am a  father now…!

I will never forget that late evening, 

when I had cried before my mom, 

crippled with fear and grief –

 “Mom, I am going to fail…” 

I still remember what she had done, 

pulling me close to her, 

“Don’t worry my son… It is okay for us, 

even if you fail…” 

And, I still remember, 

what it had done to my lost confidence… 

to my broken wings…” 

Yes, that late evening!

Just this morning, I had recounted this incident to one of the worried mothers, who, all heart-broken, was crying before me, “Sir, my son may fail… He has done badly in his exams!”

I too had. So, just wondered if I had really failed… in LIFE!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: Vinod Korgaonkar