THE AMPUTATION






















“What will people think?”


For many of us, this is the biggest fear… The heaviest burden!

 Now, I hear some saying, “No, I care a damn to what people think.”

I can only smile when I hear that!

The father of a young-girl was there in my office, this morning. The girl, who currently is in FY B’Com, had cleared her CPT (CA entrance-exam) smoothly and had joined a reputed coaching-class for preparing for the IPCC exams (Inter-CA exams). Along the way, the pressures had gotten the better off of this girl, health had deteriorated and she couldn’t attend the coaching. The parents advised the girl to take good rest, focus on her college exams and just enjoy her college life, presently… They were very supportive and told her that there was no hurry at all to complete her CA; that, she could give exams, gradually in installments, as and when she felt she was able and ready.

The girl was just in her 3rd standard when she first heard about this word - CA. One of her uncles had just passed the coveted CA-exam and there was a lot of buzz about it in the family. It was then, that, this little girl had asked her father, “Dad, what is there after CA?”…

The wagon was hitched to the stars… as the proverb would inspire the little one!

Today, before the young-girl had joined our discussion, the father had recounted this story to me. “Ever since then, she had been thinking only about it and nothing else,” he told me, “She had let everyone in the family and outside know that she would be a CA, one day… and, it was a huge weight on her head!”

True, the girl was bright and committed. But, she wasn’t prepared to accept failure or setbacks along… “I have to become a CA at any cost,” was what she knew. “But, why?”… “Is there something else dearer, closer to my heart?” she never knew; rather, she had never thought of. There was a constant underlying fear of failure caused by the heavy weight of “I-must-at-any-cost” attitude.

There was another load: “I don’t know what to do if I can’t succeed… What will people think?”… This was the worst burden!

So, when things crashed suddenly along her inter-CA studies, there was an untold amount of desperation, frustration and pain.

 The concerned father was here to seek my advice, this morning. When the girl joined us, I realized that she was not yet ready to go about preparing for the up-coming exams. She needed to take a real break, nurture her soul… let go her compulsions, come to terms with her deepest fears and insecurities… Keep some back-up plans, explore new possibilities… and, above all, watch her anxiety - “What people will think”.

“There are a hundred other things you can do in life and live very happily,” I told the young-one, “CA is not the only thing.” I also told her, “You will be able to see those things only when your mind is unburdened, free from anxiety… the anxiety of other people’s opinion… All that matters is your own opinion… You don’t owe an explanation to anyone in this world, more so, when your own loved ones are with you.”


 






The father had paid full fees for the entire course… and - even though he was supportive to his daughter - he, too, had a load on his head: “How to let go of it?”

“When my leg has gangrene and my doctor says it has to be amputated, what is the option left before me, sir?” I asked him, “You know what will happen if I don’t let go of my rotten-leg?”

The message was conveyed effectively: The daughter’s physical and mental well-being was more important than the hefty amount the father had to forego!

The daughter had to amputate her gangrened belief, too: “What will people think?”  

Else, what would happen? … I am sure, the girl knew the answer, by now.




GERALD D’CUNHA


Pics.: Girish Gupta
 

Comments

Wasim S. said…
An extremely meaningful post sir. We all need it. Thanks. ..... Wasim
Yatin Sampat said…
Keep writing and keep inspiring us Gerry.
--- Yatin

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