THE RULE AND THE RESPECT
















We are educated people, decent ones… very respected ones, too!

A friend of mine lost his mother today… I just returned from the cremation place.

The friend of mine, whose mother had been suffering from cancer for sometime now, was shattered… His elderly dad was sitting across the Priest to perform the last rites. We were there maybe for half-an-hour or so… and, within that time-span, we saw five more deceased being brought in… Some young, some old.

The people who matter at that spot are Priests, the ambulance guy, the guy who is in charge of wood, the pyre, the one who keeps the record… These guys are too simple ones. But, here, they are the ones who matter… You, very obediently – blindly – do what the Priest asks you to do. You are a fool if you ask questions!

When, the ambulance fellow doesn’t come on time, it leaves you tensed…

You don’t know how to go about the whole process… whom to contact, what things are required…

You realize how important it is to have someone well-versed with all such things…

The man in khaki tells you, coldblooded: “If there is no doctor’s certificate, I will not allow the body to go up the pyre!”

Yes, it is a rule.

There is some confusion… The certificate is expected in a while… You are a decent guy – a gentleman… You are highly qualified, hold a high post in a company… and you are highly respected… True, true. But, here is the ground reality… The man in khaki holds the key to your peace. “I won’t allow,” he tells you bluntly…

It is a grief-stricken ambiance… Home people can’t think clearly in times like this… You only wish someone behaved kindly with you… Yes, not so bluntly, not so heartlessly.

Without the doctor’s certificate, the cremation will not take place… It is a rule…

Fair enough. No one is telling you to break the rule… Only they are requesting you to allow the cremation to take place, for now, for everyone’s convenience… till the ‘piece of paper’ arrives… Maybe, in an hour…

But, the man in khaki harps about the ‘rule’…

There is someone who knows how to ‘follow’ such rules. He calms the stickler-to-rules down, says something sweetly into his ears… and, behold! Suddenly, everything seems ‘okay’… The ‘rule’ obeyed… The permission granted!

Rest of the ceremony goes very smoothly…

There is peace, all around…

You, my friend and I are all very educated, very decent and very respected people – Gentlemen of the first order! But, here, at this spot, we have to cast all that into the burning pyre… We need to know who matters, where and why… 




We need to know what the ‘rules’ are… 

when to ‘respect’ them… how and why!



And, we need to remember this, too: In Life, there are times, when it is neither sensible nor decent to ask any questions…

Just mellow with the pyre that dies down!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Amrita Jeurkar




Comments

Sunil Hegde said…
Humbled me. Thank you... Sunil
February 25, 2013 at 8:16 PM
Lalit Nayak said…
True, we need such experiences to keep us grounded in life.
- Lalit
February 26, 2013 at 6:15 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MUTHU KODI KAWARI HADA

Image
Pic.; Ashwin Mohta M y Hindi was always bad. It still is. One reason for this was, that they introduced Hindi for us only in 6 th standard. Or, was it in 8 th ? I don’t remember… I only remember struggling to write and read… leave alone speak! But, I loved Hindi movies, and, strangely, I could understand the dialogues and the lyrics of the songs… I used to sing those songs (of course when no one was around me!) as if I was the lyricist… One of the songs was a very funny one. ‘Muthu Kodi Kawari Hada’. It was from Mehmood’s super-hit comedy – ‘Do Phool’. I was a 15-year-old high-school boy when I had heard that song (not watched the movie). I could grasp the meaning of two words – ‘Muthu Kodi’… which meant ‘Give kiss’… But, what ‘Kawari Hada’ meant, I have no clue till date! It was just like ‘Why this kolaveri di’... Yes, why ask? Simply enjoy the beats… And, the beats are great… The rest... Who cares? Really! So, whatever bit of Hi
Read more

SELLING MIRRORS IN THE CITY OF THE BLIND

Image
“I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God.” - Kabir T here is a universal human weakness – and it dates back to the days of fallen civilizations – and it is: to place people on pedestal and trying to be smothered by them, feel loved and protected in their company… worship them as mentors, heroes,  gurus, Mahagurus and Satgurus… Make these mortals larger-than-life cut-outs, worship them as flawless, pure and give one’s all… And, then, ‘take’ everything from them blindly as divine… Give everything to them blindly… Eventually, what happens is:  one more dangerous bondage… What was supposed to free you now becomes a new prison… It’s sad to see this happen! T his room, where I am writing this Post, has no image of any deity. I have no image of any Guru or Master around me… My question is: “Am I not able to feel close to Almighty God?  How does it matter
Read more

"HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS NOT A FAIRY-TALE... IT IS A CHOICE"

Image
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone… It has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula K. Le Guin,  The Lathe of Heaven T welve years ago, when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married, the world began to hail the couple as ‘Brangelina’. It became a fashion for couples around us to call themselves so… Norbert and Teresa renamed them as ‘Noresa’…  Amol and Vishaka baptized their relationship as ‘Amoshka’… and, Salman and Nargis became ‘Salgis’! I and my wife, too, got tempted to re-christian our matrimonial relationship as ‘Germa’... That is, Gerald and Anima, to be precise! B efore I proceed any further, let me make it very clear, here… that, I have no business to judge on the break-up of Brad Pitt and Angelina’ Jolie’s marriage. I have no inclination to go into why, how, what when etc behind it… The couple ‘chose’ to split. And, it’s their choice… Only they know how good or bad… how joyful or painful that
Read more
THE WILD, WAYSIDE FLOWERS
There is, always, something extra-ordinary in the wild, wayside flowers...