NEED I GROW LIKE A GIANT OAK TO 'FEEL' SUCCESSFUL?









One of the truths that keeps me firmly planted on this earth is: Whatever I long to do in my life in order to feel successful, so many out there – millions and millions of them – have already done it  in past, or are doing it presently, or will be doing it in future.

If the truth is such, what is that so ‘great’ about me? What is that so ‘special’?

When I started with this ‘pursuit of success, many years ago, the idea of success, to me, meant achieving something, reaching somewhere… goals, targets, income, fame and social position. But, then, as I went about pursuing this kind of success, I realized that at no point of time was I actually’ feeling successful’… I was endlessly and frantically ‘running’ as if I was chasing a mirage in the desert… In the end of that chase, invariably, I would feel disillusioned, still parching. I would also observe that majority out there were doing exactly what I was doing… all running frantically with the hope of getting ‘it’ – success – and live happily ever after…

Yes, all of us did it… Ordinary souls like me did it… spiritual gurus did it… hardcore politicians did it… hardened criminals did it… businessmen, film-makers, actors, singers, dancers, TV people, radio people, media people… sportsmen, scientists, doctors, engineers, teachers, writers, publishers, lawyers, law-makers, psychologists, charity organizations and NGOs… everybody, everywhere did the same thing in the name of success – running frantically… The only difference was this: they all painted it – ‘Success’ - with different brushes!

Sometimes, I wonder: Can’t I do all this quietly? Need I grow like a giant oak to ‘feel’ successful? I can see clearly each station in my life, till now… The feeling I bore in my mind when I was a complete Nobody and had nothing in my hand, I continued to bear at all stations later on regardless of my achievements… I was only getting disillusioned when ‘I reached there’!

Why is this desire to make it ‘big’ one day and live life happily ever after? Why is this greed to have it all from the Goose’s belly in one go?

To BE or to BECOME… Yes, that ‘is’ the question!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.:Khushboo Gulrajani

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