Tuesday, July 4, 2017

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE STRONG ALL THE TIME











“Real dishes break. That's how you know they're real.”
― Marty Rubin

Some of my most powerful experiences have sprung 
from my most vulnerable moments… 
Just as I feel love in my bosoms when the walls around my heart collapse… 
Just as I feel the touch of God’s hand when I go on my knees… 
Just as I feel the freedom  in my soul when I say ‘I forgive you’… 
Just as I feel cleansed when I say ‘I am sorry’… 
Just as I feel happiest, noblest and strongest when I say ‘I need your help’…

I am what I am because of my tender side… the side which is very, very fragile… which gets hurt, anxious, insecure, yearns, dreams, cries, prays and, above all, hopes and soars… just as every man and a woman, here on this planet, does…

Some days ago, a young mother, who was present during our PD session along with her young one, sent me a message a few hours after the session:

“Thank you sir… I really, really loved your session. You are imparting values which are not taught in any school to help build their personality. Very powerful!”

How did I feel after reading this message? It was the end of my day… I had returned home doing, with all my heart, what I passionately believed in… I replied:

“Need those encouraging words ma’am. At times, I lose strength… I have kept it going close to 30 years, because I have believed in it from the core. Thanks a lot for the kind words.”

And, I received it back in even more measure:

“It’s from the bottom of my heart, sir. It’s only human to feel weak at times. We are all only a call away from each other. Please do call anytime or do come home with your wife. You are doing something so noble that God will give you strength to overcome anything… There’s a child in you too, sir… and you don’t have to be strong all the time.”

I was moved by that last line… “There’s a child in you too, sir… and you don’t have to be strong all the time.”

How strange… How mystical… How beautiful… teaching and learning in life are! Yes, the young one and the mother were there to find help… A few days before that, the woman had opened up about her young ones’ and her own anxious moments… and, they had come to seek help by being most vulnerable… And, now, look, how amazing Life and living can be! The same woman is now able to empathize with my own vulnerable side… “It’s only human to feel weak at times… and, you do not have to be strong all the time!”

“What happens when people open their hearts?" asks Haruki Murakami. He concludes, “They get better.”

Did the woman and her young one get better when they opened up? Yes, they did. Did I get better when I opened up? Yes, I did.

Brene Brown says in her book, ‘Daring Greatly:  “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”

Yes, Marty Rubin was right… Real dishes do break.  Because, that’s how you know they're real.

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Meera Sridhar

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