MOTHERS WILL BE MOTHERS

 

“In the right light, at the right time,

everything is extraordinary.”

                                                              Aaron Rose     

       

My younger brother, Rony, is a gifted singer. He is very popular among the Mangalorean-Konkani music-lovers, both, here and abroad. He started singing on stage quite early. I remember him participating and winning singing competitions since his primary school-days. He kept participating in several competitions, winning most of them. Gradually, as a young singer, he joined popular bands and, also, started touring with well-known Konkani singing-legends. Recordings, too, became a regular part of his busy schedule…

But, through all his hectic schedule, Rony largely depended on our Mom. She was his efficient manager, who would, instinctively, know what clothes should be packed for which concert and when. It continued till Rony left to take up a permanent job in Kuwait in his early thirties.

You see, mothers are great managers of their talented sons…

I said ‘Sons’. For, I know, that girls manage their things much better on their own. Boys are boys… and, I think, dependency on their mothers continues to be one of their Achilles’ Heels… Weak spots.

Today, I remembered Rony as I was navigating my way through two of my talented students at present…

Sanskar is a National-level, table-tennis player. Understandably he has to not only stay busy with his daily practice sessions, both in the mornings and in the evenings, he has to, also, regularly keep touring for his tournaments. And, as his tutor, I need to deal with Sanskar with different set of rules. “Dear, we can’t have it all,” I keep reminding him, “Along with your sports activities, manage your studies, too,” I keep reminding him.

So far so good… I know, Sankar has been trying his best to cope with both. But, his dependance on his working mother reminds me of Rony and Mom. Most of my calls and messages go unanswered; and, I calm myself saying, “He must be busy practicing or playing.” But, when it’s urgent, I disturb his working mother and request her to look into the matter, ending my request with the line – “Sorry for bothering you, ma’am.”

“And, behold… Sanskar quickly responds!”

“Sir, hope he has responded,” She checks. Today, when she did, I replied:

“Yes ma’am, he just did. If my calls and messages are promptly responded to from his end, it would help me not t disturb you during your office hours. Anyway, it comes in a package to most mothers.” I ended with a smiley…

“Hehe!” The mother knew, there was merit in what I had jokingly said…

On the other side, there is Samrudhi. She is in her F.Y. BMS and a talented dancer. As her college fest is approaching, she is extremely busy with her dance practices and workshops (after her college hours). She comes home late and, like Sanskar, finds herself exhausted. But, the difference, as I said, lies here: She is her own manager. Her mother doesn’t negotiate with me… Samrudhi does. She responds to my every call and message, even if it is late.

So, girls are girls, you see...

Maybe, because most girls learn to manage their things when they are young, they become efficient managers of their sons, later in life…

Hope my guess is not wrong…

The only caveat is this: The mothers should be aware of the parental messages that shape their young ones’ self-esteem… While the nurturing and structuring messages build a healthy self-esteem, the smothering messages undercut it…

Talents, when tempered with self-reliance, breed true champions…

Meanwhile, Mothers will be Mothers, always, you see.

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic.: Pixels: 1. amber currin 2. Nicolas Postiglioni 3. Elina Fairytale

 

Video: T-Series/Shankar Mahadevan