THE BEST SCHOOL
Sumanna looked worried. Her six-year-old son, Parth, is a vibrant kid. But, of late, he has been facing some coping difficulties in the school. The teachers have been complaining, and the pressure is taking its slow and steady toll on the mind of the toddler. And, on Sumanna's as well.
Yesterday, Sumanna came to talk to me after meeting her child's counselor. "The tests show that Parth's Emotional Quotient, too, is very low," she said.
First, it was the blow of the low 'Intelligence Quotient'. Now, this one. First, Sumanna had to do two rounds a week to her child's counselor; now, she will have to do four!
I remember, how desperate Sumanna was, a few years ago. She wanted the best schooling for her child. And so, she went about making frantic enquiries, all around, to short-list a school for the little one. She had come to me, too, to seek my advice. And, I still remember what I had told her: "Sumanna, don't be obsessed with the 'best' school; be obsessed with 'being good'."
"What does that mean?" she had asked me.
I had not answered her immediately. She kept looking at me, anticipating my answer.
"Do you consider yourself as a 'good' human being?" I asked Sumanna.
"That depends on what you mean by 'good'," Sumanna said.
"Did you study in the 'best' school in your time?" I asked.
"It wasn't the 'best'; it was a local school."
"So, you feel you lack something ... which those who studied in the 'best' schools possess?"
"Not exactly. But, I think they have an edge over us; they are smarter."
"They wear trendy clothes, talk the trendy stuff in a trendy accent, they flash the trendy gadgets, move around in trendy cars, chill out in the trendy coffee shops, change their partners as they change their shirts ... That's what your mean by being 'smarter'? That's what you miss?"
Sumanna did not reply to my question directly. She said this:
"In our times, we did not have so many options. It was relatively easy to settle for a school. Now, it is different."
"One of the functions of education is to 'toughen' us out for the challenges that come unannounced in life. If, by being 'best' you mean 'sophistication', I am sorry, Sumanna, these so called 'best' schools will only make our children 'sophisticated'. They may give us a strange 'kick' when we move around in a sophisticated society. That's all. A municipal school can prepare the child far well in that sense."
"But, being tough is not the only function of education," Sumanna countered.
"Agreed. Nor is stuffing the child with 'information' - be it of whatever kind." I said.
"I know, there is Value Education besides Knowledge and Skills," Sumanna concluded.
"And, who can sensitise a child towards the Values? Who can teach the child self-trust, make it aware of its hidden strengths and talents? Who can teach it to appreciate beauty of Nature? Who can teach it the concern for the under-privileged, the less fortunate ones? Who can teach the child how to bounce back after every set back; how to reconcile after every strife? Who can teach the child to be zestful and hopeful; and, who can teach it to share, be more pliable? And, which school will teach him to rejoice in others' glory, to genuinely appreciate his competitor? Is there a school that teaches him when to hold on and when to let go; a school that teaches him to accommodate his alcoholic father and frail grand parents? ... Did you learn these things from the school? Do you think, your son will learn them from the school? ..." I had challenged Sumanna to think.
That was some years ago. Now, her son, Parth, was schooling in one of the 'best' schools, around. Parth has two cousins at his place. And, Sumanna says, that he is a great kid at home. It is only in the school, that he has problem. She says, that Parth is extremely 'intelligent' and 'sensitive' in every respect ... but for his 'studies'. And, she says, that he is exceptionally accommodating and caring when it comes to his little cousins and grand parents ...
But, then, his Counselor has remarked: 'Low on IQ' and 'Low on EQ'!
Understandably, Sumanna can not swallow this pill.
Yesterday, when Sumanna came to talk to me, I spoke to her reassuringly. "Sumanna, do you think you are a 'good' human being ... fairly sensitive, fairly tough, fairly competitive?" I, again, asked her. "Do you think, you have done reasonably well in life, despite having come from a 'local' school?"
Tears began to roll.
Yes, Sumanna knew, that she was a 'good' human being; and, that she had done reasonably well in life.
"Trust the 'process' of education, Sumanna," I told her. "Parth is a 'good' child ... and, he, too, will do reasonably well in life."
"What do you mean by 'good'?" I had dodged this question of Sumanna, some years ago. I hope, in the depth of the silence she was experiencing, last morning, she must have received the answer.
I don't have to be - and, I am not - a 'qualified psychologist' to sense that. But, I am not a 'quack', either.
I know, I am 'good' ... and, I am not ashamed to admit, that, as a 'little Parth', I did go to a 'local' school.
GERALD D'CUNHA
Yesterday, Sumanna came to talk to me after meeting her child's counselor. "The tests show that Parth's Emotional Quotient, too, is very low," she said.
First, it was the blow of the low 'Intelligence Quotient'. Now, this one. First, Sumanna had to do two rounds a week to her child's counselor; now, she will have to do four!
I remember, how desperate Sumanna was, a few years ago. She wanted the best schooling for her child. And so, she went about making frantic enquiries, all around, to short-list a school for the little one. She had come to me, too, to seek my advice. And, I still remember what I had told her: "Sumanna, don't be obsessed with the 'best' school; be obsessed with 'being good'."
"What does that mean?" she had asked me.
I had not answered her immediately. She kept looking at me, anticipating my answer.
"Do you consider yourself as a 'good' human being?" I asked Sumanna.
"That depends on what you mean by 'good'," Sumanna said.
"Did you study in the 'best' school in your time?" I asked.
"It wasn't the 'best'; it was a local school."
"So, you feel you lack something ... which those who studied in the 'best' schools possess?"
"Not exactly. But, I think they have an edge over us; they are smarter."
"They wear trendy clothes, talk the trendy stuff in a trendy accent, they flash the trendy gadgets, move around in trendy cars, chill out in the trendy coffee shops, change their partners as they change their shirts ... That's what your mean by being 'smarter'? That's what you miss?"
Sumanna did not reply to my question directly. She said this:
"In our times, we did not have so many options. It was relatively easy to settle for a school. Now, it is different."
"One of the functions of education is to 'toughen' us out for the challenges that come unannounced in life. If, by being 'best' you mean 'sophistication', I am sorry, Sumanna, these so called 'best' schools will only make our children 'sophisticated'. They may give us a strange 'kick' when we move around in a sophisticated society. That's all. A municipal school can prepare the child far well in that sense."
"But, being tough is not the only function of education," Sumanna countered.
"Agreed. Nor is stuffing the child with 'information' - be it of whatever kind." I said.
"I know, there is Value Education besides Knowledge and Skills," Sumanna concluded.
"And, who can sensitise a child towards the Values? Who can teach the child self-trust, make it aware of its hidden strengths and talents? Who can teach it to appreciate beauty of Nature? Who can teach it the concern for the under-privileged, the less fortunate ones? Who can teach the child how to bounce back after every set back; how to reconcile after every strife? Who can teach the child to be zestful and hopeful; and, who can teach it to share, be more pliable? And, which school will teach him to rejoice in others' glory, to genuinely appreciate his competitor? Is there a school that teaches him when to hold on and when to let go; a school that teaches him to accommodate his alcoholic father and frail grand parents? ... Did you learn these things from the school? Do you think, your son will learn them from the school? ..." I had challenged Sumanna to think.
That was some years ago. Now, her son, Parth, was schooling in one of the 'best' schools, around. Parth has two cousins at his place. And, Sumanna says, that he is a great kid at home. It is only in the school, that he has problem. She says, that Parth is extremely 'intelligent' and 'sensitive' in every respect ... but for his 'studies'. And, she says, that he is exceptionally accommodating and caring when it comes to his little cousins and grand parents ...
But, then, his Counselor has remarked: 'Low on IQ' and 'Low on EQ'!
Understandably, Sumanna can not swallow this pill.
Yesterday, when Sumanna came to talk to me, I spoke to her reassuringly. "Sumanna, do you think you are a 'good' human being ... fairly sensitive, fairly tough, fairly competitive?" I, again, asked her. "Do you think, you have done reasonably well in life, despite having come from a 'local' school?"
Tears began to roll.
Yes, Sumanna knew, that she was a 'good' human being; and, that she had done reasonably well in life.
"Trust the 'process' of education, Sumanna," I told her. "Parth is a 'good' child ... and, he, too, will do reasonably well in life."
"What do you mean by 'good'?" I had dodged this question of Sumanna, some years ago. I hope, in the depth of the silence she was experiencing, last morning, she must have received the answer.
I don't have to be - and, I am not - a 'qualified psychologist' to sense that. But, I am not a 'quack', either.
I know, I am 'good' ... and, I am not ashamed to admit, that, as a 'little Parth', I did go to a 'local' school.
GERALD D'CUNHA
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