ONE FOR MY SON
Sometimes, in the midst of my frantic efforts to meet my financial commitments - particularly, my mortgage payments - I get this thought:
How nice it would have been, had my dad left behind a house, some property, for me, his son, before he died! How peacefully I could have spent 'all that energy', and money, for more 'productive' purposes! How well we all - myself, my wife and my only son - could have 'enjoyed' our life today!
But, then, it is just a passing thought. My father, a simple village man, did whatever he could, for his five sons, and went. I do admit that the struggle to meet my financial deadlines, often, bogs me down. I do wish I had it all provided ready for me, so that I would have to struggle less, lead a smoother life.
When that thought - soaked with self-pity - passes, I hear a loud voice inside me:
"Thank God, he did not leave behind the 'pot of gold' for you. You would have failed to discover the gold within you!"
I seriously feel, that is true!
Today, I have only one son. Like my dad did, I too am trying my best to give him a good start. Luckily, he doesn't have to earn money to pay his school or tuition fees. Many other children have to. Luckily, he doesn't have to go walking to his school; he goes and comes by the auto ... Many have to go walking for miles.
Luckily, there is a roof over his head, enough food on his plate, enough entertainment, good clothes, good school. He does not have to feel embarrassed about all these things. Many children have to.
But, then, that is how I see it. Does my 16-year-old son see it that way? Are his realities not different, today? Doesn't he mingle with so many 'well-off' kids in his school, who come and go by the chauffeur-driven cars, carry the trendy stuff? And, doesn't he wish for a 'better' life ... Yes, a 'better dad', in that sense?
I seriously feel, at times, he must be feeling so.
Because, I still do!
Aruna, my friend Vikram's wife, struggles extremely hard to ensure a decent life-style for their family. She was instrumental in they moving their family to a better suburb, in sending their only son to a better school, enroll him for half-a-dozen talent and skill enhancing classes. She was the one, single-handedly, made their second house, especially for their only son. And, she is a doting mother, and an extremely hard-working young woman.
Vikram is proud of his wife. What he could not do, his wife succeeded in doing.
Some days ago, I was with Vikram. We were talking about this subject. He shared with me an advice Aruna had received from one of her bosses, while she was running around for that second house. "Aruna, don't be desperate to achieve this goal," her boss had told her. "Remember, if your son is good - a suputr', he will not need it; if he isn't - if he is a kuputr, he doesn't deserve it."
I told Vikram, "Mohit (their only son) is a suputr; he may not need the house ... But, certainly, he deserves it."
It was my prayer.
Along with that prayer, I also pray, all these fortunate kids should spend some time in those tiny - all-in-one-room - houses, in which some of their schoolmates stay. Yes, that little one-room ... in which the Daddy, mummy, brother, sister,grand parents, uncles and aunts, and even God, stay. They have to see how these less fortunate kids value every toe-space in that room; how spic and span they keep their little shelters; how tastefully they decorate them on festive seasons. Yes, to see how they invite all their friends and relatives - feed them, offer them to stay ... There is still 'space' there!
And, these kids are proud of their parents, their legacy. So many of them, come up in life as extremely successful individuals, and they do wear a very healthy self-esteem around their hearts!
So, whenever that passing thought stares at me, I ask my self:
"Am I a 'suputr', or am I a 'kuputr' of my dad?"
I also ask:
"Is my only son a 'suputr' or is he a 'kuputr' ... of mine?"
We both are 'suputras' ... I can speak for both! We both may not 'need' that additional inheritance of our dads ...
We deserve much more!
GERALD D'CUNHA
How nice it would have been, had my dad left behind a house, some property, for me, his son, before he died! How peacefully I could have spent 'all that energy', and money, for more 'productive' purposes! How well we all - myself, my wife and my only son - could have 'enjoyed' our life today!
But, then, it is just a passing thought. My father, a simple village man, did whatever he could, for his five sons, and went. I do admit that the struggle to meet my financial deadlines, often, bogs me down. I do wish I had it all provided ready for me, so that I would have to struggle less, lead a smoother life.
When that thought - soaked with self-pity - passes, I hear a loud voice inside me:
"Thank God, he did not leave behind the 'pot of gold' for you. You would have failed to discover the gold within you!"
I seriously feel, that is true!
Today, I have only one son. Like my dad did, I too am trying my best to give him a good start. Luckily, he doesn't have to earn money to pay his school or tuition fees. Many other children have to. Luckily, he doesn't have to go walking to his school; he goes and comes by the auto ... Many have to go walking for miles.
Luckily, there is a roof over his head, enough food on his plate, enough entertainment, good clothes, good school. He does not have to feel embarrassed about all these things. Many children have to.
But, then, that is how I see it. Does my 16-year-old son see it that way? Are his realities not different, today? Doesn't he mingle with so many 'well-off' kids in his school, who come and go by the chauffeur-driven cars, carry the trendy stuff? And, doesn't he wish for a 'better' life ... Yes, a 'better dad', in that sense?
I seriously feel, at times, he must be feeling so.
Because, I still do!
Aruna, my friend Vikram's wife, struggles extremely hard to ensure a decent life-style for their family. She was instrumental in they moving their family to a better suburb, in sending their only son to a better school, enroll him for half-a-dozen talent and skill enhancing classes. She was the one, single-handedly, made their second house, especially for their only son. And, she is a doting mother, and an extremely hard-working young woman.
Vikram is proud of his wife. What he could not do, his wife succeeded in doing.
Some days ago, I was with Vikram. We were talking about this subject. He shared with me an advice Aruna had received from one of her bosses, while she was running around for that second house. "Aruna, don't be desperate to achieve this goal," her boss had told her. "Remember, if your son is good - a suputr', he will not need it; if he isn't - if he is a kuputr, he doesn't deserve it."
I told Vikram, "Mohit (their only son) is a suputr; he may not need the house ... But, certainly, he deserves it."
It was my prayer.
Along with that prayer, I also pray, all these fortunate kids should spend some time in those tiny - all-in-one-room - houses, in which some of their schoolmates stay. Yes, that little one-room ... in which the Daddy, mummy, brother, sister,grand parents, uncles and aunts, and even God, stay. They have to see how these less fortunate kids value every toe-space in that room; how spic and span they keep their little shelters; how tastefully they decorate them on festive seasons. Yes, to see how they invite all their friends and relatives - feed them, offer them to stay ... There is still 'space' there!
And, these kids are proud of their parents, their legacy. So many of them, come up in life as extremely successful individuals, and they do wear a very healthy self-esteem around their hearts!
So, whenever that passing thought stares at me, I ask my self:
"Am I a 'suputr', or am I a 'kuputr' of my dad?"
I also ask:
"Is my only son a 'suputr' or is he a 'kuputr' ... of mine?"
We both are 'suputras' ... I can speak for both! We both may not 'need' that additional inheritance of our dads ...
We deserve much more!
GERALD D'CUNHA
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