THE PROBLEM
One unhappy man can not make another happy.
When Ramesh calls me up, I know, he is unhappy, stuck in something, down in spirits ... and, he needs my help. He wants to talk to me.
Ramesh is 35, now. I had taught him in his final year of graduation, about fifteen years ago. Ever since then, he has been in touch with me. Just a phone call from him, and he is in my office, with his fresh problem.
Most of Ramesh's problems are work-related. He is a software programmer in a small-size company. Being a shy and nervous guy, he, often, goofs up at his work place. Yesterday, he told me this:
"My senior is good to me. He tells me that I need to 'listen and understand' my client's problem well. Because, I don't, I mess up on the solution."
"Right," I said. "then, why can't you 'listen and understand' ... Why can't you solve your problem?"
"I know, I should. But, every time a client tries to explain me his problem on the phone, my mind skips a few steps, and ends up creating solutions, that only add up to the problem. A job that should take ten minutes time, takes four hours ... and, that keeps repeating."
"Have you consciously tried to slow down while listening? Have you tried to drop every thing else and just listen, take down notes, ask for clarifications?" I asked Ramesh.
"Yes, I have. But, most of the times, I become anxious, stricken by a nagging fear of failure," Ramesh informed. "I know my problem; but, I find myself helpless."
"Have you tried to relax, let go your anxiety ... say, by praying for help from a Higher Power?" I questioned.
"Yes, sometimes," Ramesh replied. "But, I think, my trust level is too low." He continued, "I become hopeless. When I reach home, I go into a silence, almost depressed. I find it difficult to communicate freely with my wife and other family members ... I become irritated, angry. They fail to understand my case, because I don't tell them all this."
"So, do you think, you are facing a problem that has no solution; that, you have hit the dead end?" I provoked Ramesh to think.
"No I don't think so. There must be, and there is, a way. But, I can not see it, as of now. I need you to show me this way," Ramesh did not lack trust in me.
"Can you take care of one day at a time?" I asked him. "Today is Sunday. When the evening approaches, you start experiencing the dread, you start feeling heaviness in your heart ... The thought of going to work the next day, consumes you with worry, you anticipate more failures, more criticism and more depression ... Your self-confidence comes down ... Your remain unhappy. So, just for this day, can you hand over your problems to a Power beyond you? If fighting your demons has not helped you, so far, can you try leaving the demons alone, at least for a day? Can you see what happens, what the demons are up to?"
Ramesh remained silent. Perhaps, he hadn't thought about it.
"Can you?" I prodded.
Ramesh simply looked at me. But, the look seemed less strained, less burdened.
The demons of the mind can not be fought by the demons of the mind. They all are same. Demons. You need the Angels to fight for you ... And, they reside in your heart.
Trust resides in your heart; hope too.
Last morning, when Ramesh called me, my own spirits were down. The demons had besieged my mind, and my happiness had been held hostage by them. Yes, I was unhappy, yesterday. And, how could one unhappy man make another happy? Did I help Ramesh solve his problem? Will he go about his office work less strained, less burdened?
"Just for a day," I had told Ramesh. Last morning, as I was talking to him, I too had let my demons alone, just for a day. By the time Ramesh left, my demons, too, had. My sagging spirit had soared high, again. Yes, I had bounced back, victoriously.
If Ramesh, can do that, I am sure, his confidence will soar high, once again. He just needs to surrender the reigns to his heart. The Angels will do the rest for him ... He will be a 'happy man'.
And, a happy man alone can make another man happy. Including his client.
GERALD D'CUNHA
When Ramesh calls me up, I know, he is unhappy, stuck in something, down in spirits ... and, he needs my help. He wants to talk to me.
Ramesh is 35, now. I had taught him in his final year of graduation, about fifteen years ago. Ever since then, he has been in touch with me. Just a phone call from him, and he is in my office, with his fresh problem.
Most of Ramesh's problems are work-related. He is a software programmer in a small-size company. Being a shy and nervous guy, he, often, goofs up at his work place. Yesterday, he told me this:
"My senior is good to me. He tells me that I need to 'listen and understand' my client's problem well. Because, I don't, I mess up on the solution."
"Right," I said. "then, why can't you 'listen and understand' ... Why can't you solve your problem?"
"I know, I should. But, every time a client tries to explain me his problem on the phone, my mind skips a few steps, and ends up creating solutions, that only add up to the problem. A job that should take ten minutes time, takes four hours ... and, that keeps repeating."
"Have you consciously tried to slow down while listening? Have you tried to drop every thing else and just listen, take down notes, ask for clarifications?" I asked Ramesh.
"Yes, I have. But, most of the times, I become anxious, stricken by a nagging fear of failure," Ramesh informed. "I know my problem; but, I find myself helpless."
"Have you tried to relax, let go your anxiety ... say, by praying for help from a Higher Power?" I questioned.
"Yes, sometimes," Ramesh replied. "But, I think, my trust level is too low." He continued, "I become hopeless. When I reach home, I go into a silence, almost depressed. I find it difficult to communicate freely with my wife and other family members ... I become irritated, angry. They fail to understand my case, because I don't tell them all this."
"So, do you think, you are facing a problem that has no solution; that, you have hit the dead end?" I provoked Ramesh to think.
"No I don't think so. There must be, and there is, a way. But, I can not see it, as of now. I need you to show me this way," Ramesh did not lack trust in me.
"Can you take care of one day at a time?" I asked him. "Today is Sunday. When the evening approaches, you start experiencing the dread, you start feeling heaviness in your heart ... The thought of going to work the next day, consumes you with worry, you anticipate more failures, more criticism and more depression ... Your self-confidence comes down ... Your remain unhappy. So, just for this day, can you hand over your problems to a Power beyond you? If fighting your demons has not helped you, so far, can you try leaving the demons alone, at least for a day? Can you see what happens, what the demons are up to?"
Ramesh remained silent. Perhaps, he hadn't thought about it.
"Can you?" I prodded.
Ramesh simply looked at me. But, the look seemed less strained, less burdened.
The demons of the mind can not be fought by the demons of the mind. They all are same. Demons. You need the Angels to fight for you ... And, they reside in your heart.
Trust resides in your heart; hope too.
Last morning, when Ramesh called me, my own spirits were down. The demons had besieged my mind, and my happiness had been held hostage by them. Yes, I was unhappy, yesterday. And, how could one unhappy man make another happy? Did I help Ramesh solve his problem? Will he go about his office work less strained, less burdened?
"Just for a day," I had told Ramesh. Last morning, as I was talking to him, I too had let my demons alone, just for a day. By the time Ramesh left, my demons, too, had. My sagging spirit had soared high, again. Yes, I had bounced back, victoriously.
If Ramesh, can do that, I am sure, his confidence will soar high, once again. He just needs to surrender the reigns to his heart. The Angels will do the rest for him ... He will be a 'happy man'.
And, a happy man alone can make another man happy. Including his client.
GERALD D'CUNHA
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