THE LITTLE NUTS

I had tough time with Rahul, this year. A 11th standard student that he is, he is the quintessential 'black sheep' in the flock. If a butcher comes calling, you are sure to say. "Take this one." So fed up, the shepherd is!

Kavita, a T.Y. B.Com, girl is somewhat a similar goat. Headstrong and articulate, but difficult to graze on the dotted lines. Difficult to tie down. "Here is one more," you would tell the butcher!

I had become very angry with them at several occasions; sermonised them; and, finally, when nothing worked, given up my hopes. I had this nagging inkling in my conscience that, both of them might dislike me for that. That, if the butcher, by default, asked them, in stead, they would certainly scream, "Here is he; take him!"

So 'harsh' I must have been for both Rahul and Kavita!

But, that was my 'guilty conscience' ... My unfounded fear. May be of losing my sheep, my goat.

This Christmas, both of them called me to wish. And, I not only felt very pleasantly surprised, but also very 'relieved'. They did love me, did look up to me ... and, they said it, openly, while talking. "Sir, you are doing it for our sake, for our life," they both admitted.

I felt like yelling at the butcher, "Hey you, go back. I love my flock ... I won't spare any."

Rohan learnt from me some fifteen years ago. After completing his MBA, he joined Citibank and moved up rapidly. For the past five years, he has been based in Malaysia. But, on his each visit to India, Rohan would come to see me. He claims, I have made a difference in his life. And, I don't have to tell you, how nice it feels, when some one says that!

Today, Rohan was here in my office. He had come to invite me for his wedding. I would proudly go for his wedding to shower on him my wishes. He has been a terrific 'sheep' of mine, and all along!

As I was talking to him, this morning, I remembered my own professor, who caused a revolution in me. Ours was an all-boys college. There were about 120 students in the class. I was, most certainly, the least visible, the least significant. At least that's how a teen-aged boy would feel about himself, when he is intimidated by a monstrous 'inferiority complex'. I had no goal, no desire, no hope till this teacher stepped in our class. The day he did, he also brought along an inner explosion. I would simply sit there, lost in that 'crowd', watch with delight, completely awe-struck, this unusually simple soul - but, paradoxically the most dynamic and authentic one - and dream to become like him.

I told Rohan about my teacher, my hero. "Unlike, you guys, I never, ever spoke to my teacher. I had no guts. I simply sat there and worshipped him; dreamed to become like him ... That's all."

The rest happened on its own. The seeds sprouted. They just exploded!

I have never, ever met my teacher after that. Perhaps, it was out of the reverential fear, that I still have in my heart about him.

I want to tell him all this. I want to tell him what a difference he made to me even without looking at my face, or uttering a single word. It was like the healing that 'tough' Jew - Judah Benhur - received just as the shadow of Christ fell on his longing soul. Yes, in that inspiring movie -'BENHUR'! And, yes, it was the shadow of the Christ on his way to the Calvary ... stripped, mocked, tortured and condemned to be hanged. The shadow of this hero!

I simply get goosebumps, whenever I think about all this!

A message on my cell-phone, during this festive season, beautifully conveyed this truth. It reminded me that the little squirrel 'accidentally' drops, here and there, the 'little nuts' while having them. How blissfully unaware it is as to how many robust trees those tiny seeds would give birth to ... Yes, one day!

Rahul, Kavita, Rohan ...and my 'little squirrel', my mighty hero, Prof. B.S. Raman ... I remembered all of them, today.


GERALD D'CUNHA

Comments

MACK said…
very well said...
- Macklin
Gerald D'Cunha said…
Hi Macklin,

How nice to know we're connected through this medium! Hope, you have gone through all the other posts.

Mac., I want you to study hard, discover your true pottential ... and land where your heart truly desires to.

Do tell about the blog to your friends, and encourage them to comment. Also, it would help others if you young guns can post some fresh real-life articles to me on thedawnclub@rediffmail.com. We would be more than happy to publish them.

Regards to all at home, and with all my best wishes ...

GERRY

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