TO LAUGH WITH YOU AND CRY WITH YOU...

 Twenty-one years ago, Fr. Reggie Pinto had celebrated our nuptial mass in Mangalore. Last night, I was so delighted to meet him in Mumbai at the amazing grounds of Holy Family church in Andheri. He had come, all the way form Mangalore, to celebrate the nuptial mass of his niece, the gorgeous Marishka, and her handsome groom, Adrian. Fr. Reggie was also there to raise the toast for the lovely newly-wed.

Fr. Reggie is young and holds very young views as well. This makes him gel extremely well with the young generation. You feel relaxed when you are with him. And, you also feel a lot accepted and respected as you converse with him. 

Last night, after he had done with his toast-raising, he spent, along with his elderly mom, the rest of the time chatting with us around our table. 

Some months ago, Fr. Reggie had lost his father who was close to 90. ‘Pinto Master’… this was how Fr. Reggie’s dad was called fondly by everyone in the village. He and his wife – Maggie aunty – were both teachers… and amazing teachers they were! 

Last night, Fr. Reggie spoke to me, at length, about his parents’ commitments to their teaching profession , social responsibilities  and, above all, to their marriage and family. 

Pinto Master loved his students so much that he would teach them, free of charge, at home after the school hours… Often, these students would come from far away places and Maggie  aunty would serve them food and make them stay back for the nights. This was a common feature at their residence. Pinto Master would, later, help these youngsters in writing their Job applications and even use his contacts to obtain jobs for them. People coming to seek emotional help was a regular feature. 

After his retirement, Pinto Master kept himself fruitfully busy. He was active in the church activities. He was a terrific script-writer, actor and director. On Good Friday, he would make sure, the worshippers cried as they watched his play - ‘The Passion of the Christ’! He served as the Church Administrator for solid twenty-five years. Whenever a wedding or any other celebration popped up in the village, it was Pinto Master – the main Chef. Fr. Reggie told me last night, that his dad had handled a crowd of three thousand… and efficiently. Any event in the village – Christening, Communion, Marriage, Ordination, Jubilee or Death – Fr. Reggie’s parents were there right in the front, all in command!

What fascinated me the most was the legendary God-parenting. Fr. Reggie’s parents had ninety-nine God children! One short of a century – because, a massive paralytic attack had come on the way, and very badly!

For thirteen long years, Pinto Master spent his days on his wheel-chair and bed. For an incredibly active and useful person like him, it was simply the most painful thing that could happen. But, it happened. Hundreds of his students, who were now settled well in life, would come to visit him… Thousands of well-wishers and neighbors – of all castes and creed – would pray for him. Scores of Priests would send prayers to God from their altars. But, Pinto Master had to spend his last years in the manner God had wished… 

Yes, in spite of all the good work he had performed and the noble life he had chosen to live!

I remembered the famous book, “Why Bad Things Happen to Good People?”

The answer can only be mystical… Yes, only mystical!

But, then, there was Maggie aunty in the life of Pinto Master. His wife. Years and years had gone by since she had held his hand at the altar of God and said:

I, Margaret, take you, Robert,

to be my  lawfully wedded husband,

my constant friend, my faithful partner

and my love from this day forward. 

In the presence of God, our family and friends,

I offer you my solemn vow

to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health,

in good times and in bad,

and in joy as well as in sorrow.

I promise to love you unconditionally,

to support you in your goals,

to honor and respect you,

to laugh with you and cry with you,

and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

Nearly six decades had passed by since that day, since that commitment before God. Fr. Reggie told me last night, that he had lost count of the number of nuptials he was privileged to preside over. But, every time he made the young couple take that one vow of marriage, his voice would crack and heart would tremble. “It is the most humbling thing that I have come across in my Priesthood,” Father told me last night, almost choked , talking about the kind of commitment his mother had for her husband in her life. 

“Not less than fifty times, during a night, my dad would call her… Lift me up; place me down; change my side; change my pillow; why this food cold; bring me fresh… and, yes, my mother would do it!” Fr. Reggie narrated to me. “Once, she had to be in the hospital for one day for her cataract operation and I opted to be at home with my dad. I may be a Reverend Father… but, I lost my cool and yelled at him that night, ‘Dad, why do you torture me like this? Don’t I have to sleep?…”

“I really wonder how could my mom do so much for all her life,” Fr. Reggie told me. “The real test is when the times are bad… and, for thirteen years, the times were really bad for my mom and dad. Like a rock, she stood by him and nursed.”

They had brought to show us a huge photo album of the funeral photos. Shivers ran down  my spine, as I flipped through those pages. The magnificent church was packed with mourners to the hilt… On the altar, there were forty-five Priests to celebrate the final mass for Pinto Master, the good soul; there were students whose lives were touched by this man’s generosity… They had travelled from far away places; there was the Bishop and there were all those from the village – yes of all faiths – to bid him Good-bye. Above all, there was this frail woman, all heart-broken, standing by his side till the earth consumed this gentle soul for ever!

“Son, let me have some sleep, this night,” was what she said to Fr. Reggie that night. You can imagine, there mustn’t have been a single night – in all those thirteen long-years – when Maggie aunty had slept properly!

It was a stunning ambience. There was live music and the dance floor was electrifying. It was the last song… the famous song sung almost by every great singer. Last night, the brilliant young singer closed his eyes and sang it for the couple… as the parents and dearest ones of the bridal couple wrapped them  - gently, slowly  and tightly - with those satin blue-and-white ribbons.

 Oh, my love, my darling

I've hungered for your touch,

a long lonely time

And time goes by,

so slowly and time can do so much

Are you, still mine?

I need your love, I need your love

God speed your love to me

Lonely rivers flow to the sea,

to the sea

To the waiting arms of the sea

Lonely rivers cry, wait for me,

wait for me

To the open arms, wait for me

My love, my darling,

I've hungered for your kiss

Are you still mine?

I need your love,

I need your love

God, speed your love,

to me.

Then, the song ended... 

And the couple kissed!

It took more than an hour for our taxi-man to bring me and my wife home from the wedding venue. It was mid-night… and, I was unable to speak a single word!

“Marriage is surely not a night!” Last night, I had no honesty left in me to advise the awesome Adrian and Marishka! Yes,  that was twenty-one years since I said at the God's altar:

"Dear, I promise to love you...
to laugh with you and cry with you...
in our good times and bad times!"

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

THANKS:
The image used in this Post is by Ashok Ahuja. He is a professional Photographer and a very dear friend of mine. He is also one of the founder members of The Dawn Club, and, along with his gifted-artist wife, Sudha, has been helping me, and the Club, right from its inception.