SHOULD YOUR STORY BE TOLD?

I still remember those initial days of my teaching… I was still in college – first-year B’Com to be precise. I was desperately shy, bad in English language and crushed under the heavy yoke of my self-doubts. I was filled with anxiety and dreaded to move towards my future. My self-confidence was at its rock-bottom… Nothing goes right for you when your mind is ruled by so many ghosts!

So, it was in my first-year degree that Prof. B.S. Raman came to teach us for the first time… and, my life changed for good!

I have written about this experience countless times and spoken, too, a thousand times… Particularly, I have shared this experience with parents of my students whenever they have approached me to seek my advice as to what career their young-ones should choose. And, yes, I have, always, spoken about it, with all my passion and honesty, to the young-ones themselves: “Look, it is never late to follow your heart; but, please listen to your heart to know what it tells!”

So, I tell them – parents and young-ones – that I chose teaching because I wanted to be like my hero, Prof. Raman, and badly, badly so. The moment I chose that, I realized – very, very clearly – that to become like him, I had to be damn good in my subjects; I had to be good in English language; I had to be confident enough to stand before a packed class-room and teach effectively… and, above all, I had to be as devoted and passionate as my idol was! I tell them that because my desire to become a teacher like my hero was so strong, I found the ways and means – the right attitude of patience, persistence, hard-work, work discipline, and optimism – to pursue my passion. Fear suddenly dissolved; excuses stopped popping up; lack and gloom were out and abundance and hope were in… and, they were there to stay for ever. Money was not there at home; yet, money was not at all the reason why I was longing to teach… It still is not: and, it still surprises me! That, if I do not fear the future, the future will unfold in itself; that, if I leave money alone and focus on the ‘core reason why I had started to do all that I now do… yes, if I focus on my innate passion to be like my icon – devoted and passionate to the boot – money will follow me as the by-product of my work. At least, enough to keep me true to my heart that ceases to dream!

What has made me write on this, today?

Someone had come to see me, this morning – another teacher like me. “Things have gone from bad to worse,” he was telling me, “I don’t know if there is anything left for me!”

“Nothing is left for you? In such a colossal universe? You are not even 50!”… Well, I did not say all this – what I had felt in my mind – to this anxious and dejected soul. Because, from my own experience, I could very well empathize with this man… Yes, there are times in life, we do feel “It is all over for us!”

“The well of life can never be empty, my friend,” I

 did tell the man this, “Just be true to your heart

and 

ask – ‘Can I start teaching any student, anywhere,

 the way I started when I first did?’… 

‘Can I start with a crystal-blue hope, with a

childlike awe, with the least concern about money

 and a tomorrow?’…”

Then, I shared with him my story… yes, with one more soul, one more time… yes, just to tell him what I always intend to: “When you listen to your passionate heart, your frightened mind will obey you!”

“Should my story be told?” Last evening, a very dear one had asked me.

“Yes, you should,” I had told her without even blinking, “if you sincerely believe that your story is true!”

I will always remember why I wanted to become a teacher!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: Yojana Singh