JUST A LITTLE MORE PATEINCE, THE NEXT TIME




When someone complains to you about anything, the worst thing you can do is arguing on his complaint. Take it from me, it will ruin your peace of mind!


So, the best thing you can do is a gentle listening, without any defenses, without any disagreement with him.


Try this trick, the next time you have someone complaining before you… It could be anybody… at home or outside. If he is in front of you, offer him a seat and a glass of water. Then, ask him to voice out… while you show all the empathy in the world… all the attention, all the concern and willingness to help him, to solve his problem.


Now, I am not encouraging you to be a hypocrite. No. Be sincere.


He has a complaint…and, that’s a fact.


He has come to you with the complaint, because, he believes that the solution falls within your purview, within your control…


Even if the solution doesn’t fall under your territory, it is best if you listen to him patiently and gently guide him to the one who can solve his problem…


The worst thing you can do is to yell at him: “No, that’s not my lookout.”


Many a times, we waste our time defending and arguing with those who complain. Actually, all that we have to do is just listen to the guy patiently… Just offer some soothing words… If it is under our control, no excuses… We should take the onus and act. If it is not under our control, we should be gentle enough to convey that to the guy… and, ideally, connect him to the one who can fix it for him.


Now, turn the tables and think about this: When you go to someone with your complaint, what do you expect from him?


I am sure, more than his willingness to solve your problem, you crave for his willingness to listen to you with patience and respect…


How many times have we wasted our time arguing with a watchman, a conductor, a rickshaw driver, a garbage picker, a waiter in a restaurant, a compounder in a dispensary, or a peon in the school… 

 


It is a royal waste of time… 

 You get nothing out of it except a nasty headache

 for the rest of the day…

 


A ‘No’ need not be a nasty word… It is a nice word. Because, in life, we will have to say ‘No’ to people… as much as we have to take ‘No’ from them. At whichever end we are, we need to be graceful, tactful and, above all, sensible.


Just a little more patience the next time the fellow comes charging and barging at you…


Please do not lock your horns with him…


A bull and a bully need different treatments, you see!


 


GERALD D’CUNHA


Pic.: Vivek D'Cunha


 


 


 


 

Comments

Pooja Shetty said…
You hv got to be that tactful and patient. Nice post.
---- Pooja
June 6, 2013 at 5:30 PM
Rupak said…
Dear Sir,
Very thought provoking. Indeed a No' is not such a bad thing to hear. It is a valid option given by us to the person whom we are seeking a favor from. Many who complain are just seeking for a Listening ear
Thanks
Rupak
June 6, 2013 at 6:35 PM
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