THE STRONG MAN WITH AN ARMY-MOUSTACHE








Pic.: Uaha Prasadh


Some years ago, one morning, I was in the office of a  Co-operative-bank manager. As I was talking, a very fierce-looking man - with a huge built and army-mustache – came in. “Sir, the fellow is sweating; scared to come up,” reported the man to the manager.

“Tell him, manager is a nice man… doesn't have an army-mustache like you,” manager teased the man, “Give him a soft-drink or coffee… and cajole him to come up. Don’t scare him more.”

By now, I knew who the strong-man was, and why the other man was frightened to come up to the bank manager…

A few minutes later, the strong-man came back, accompanied by a taxi-owner, who seemed to be in his late fifties. The man stood there with his folded hands, and began to give reasons for the default, narrating all his problems and, finally, the assurance.

The manager made him sit on one of the chairs, heard him gently… and, finally, explained to him about his own limitations and duties. “I can understand your problems; but, my superiors may not,” said the manager to the man, “So, I will give you fifteen days more; but this time, see that you do not default.”

The man was obliged, thanked the manager profusely and then, left the cabin.

I complimented the bank manager for the way he handled his defaulting client.

“I have a simple principle,” the bank manager explained to me, “I will never harass any one intentionally.”


I have thought of those words – “I will never harass any one intentionally” – many, many times since then. Harassing someone comes to us easily when we are in the position of power… Just the way that bank manger was for his defaulting borrower, we all have our own positions of power and we come across so many with ‘folded hands’ … standing before us in fear… feeling vulnerable, guilty and ashamed… It is quite easy for us to make them feel more ashamed and scared… It is easy for us to harass by using our positions of power… At times, I see myself succumbing to my weakness when I deal with my own students, or perhaps, as a parent, husband or whatever that is. At other times, I see myself on the receiving end… Someone else trying to harass me, intimidate me… make me feel frightened and ashamed… guilty.

Yes, this goes on… both ways.

But, fortunately, I find it going on in me more the bank-manger’s way than the other way… I, too, try my level best not to harass any one intentionally… I see how best I can help him come out of his tight-spot, save his face.

The strong man, with an army-mustache, too, comes before me, many, many times!


GERALD D’CUNHA
  



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