"WE CHOOSE OUR JOYS AND SORROWS LONG BEFORE WE EXPERIENCE THEM."
Pic.: Chetna Shetty
"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them."
- Kahlil Gibran
This reality stares at me, repeatedly: Just as others, who love and care for me, can only help me make my choices, and, it is left for me to make my own choices… yes, just as that, I can only help them do theirs, and, then, leave them to make their own…
I said, ‘people who love and care for me’. True… my spouse, son, parents, close relatives and best friends… my genuine well-wishes and caring teachers, doctors, lawyers, priests and advisers… Yes, they can only help me make my choices… but, they can’t – rather, shouldn't – go beyond that…
Ditto, when it comes my role in their choices.
So, each time the reality stares at me, it only becomes clearer to me, that the quality of my life can only be as good as the quality of my choices… Even to step or not to step beyond that thin line– when it comes to others’ choices – calls for a choice from my end. If so, who is responsible for the consequences of that choice – my frustration and stress?
“In every single thing you do, you are choosing a direction,” said Dr. Kathleen Hall, “Your life is a product of choices.”
Yesterday, noon, I attended a function at one of our friends’ place. The lunch-spread was tempting, irresistible. So, ignoring my health limitations, I indulged in what was there on the table…
Now, whose choice was that?
When dinner-time came, I could still feel the discomfort in my belly. There was one more choice to make… to strain my belly more or give the much-needed rest to it. I chose the latter and decided to go for a walk with my wife… Slow, reflective and peaceful!
This is noon-time, now. I can still feel the effect of that one simple-choice, even now… Imagine, then, the collective effect of all my choices on the quality of my life… on my joys and sorrows, on my peaceful and stressful feelings!
“We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.” Yes, Kahlil Gibran was right.