"IT IS RAIN THAT GROWS FLOWERS, NOT THUNDER"












Pic.: Chetna Shetty



“Raise your words, not your voice…
It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”

-          Oprha Winfrey


Many a times, when we keep screaming and shouting at our children or our students, our intention is very simple and straight: they should listen to us, show remorse and change…

But, do they?

Mostly, they don’t.

What, generally, happens is: they yell back at us, argue and make the scene more volatile… or, they get suppressed by our authority and sulk… or, they keep just mocking – visibly or invisibly - at us seeing our weakness and helplessness… Rarely do they show remorse or empathy… rarely do they listen to us and change.  

That frustrates us more… and, it doesn't allow us to come out of our shouting-and- screaming bouts, easily… We find ourselves in more turmoil, now!

Time and again, I have realized that shouting and screaming at our young-ones doesn't change the reality, at all. It neither helps them change nor us. But, then, this realization, invariably, comes to me when I reflect on my own screaming-and-shouting bouts…

“Did it help the cause?”  I ask.

“No,” I receive the answer.

“Was there another route?”

“Yes.”

The notion that, people hear us… listen to us… when we raise our voice is a misplaced notion. We picked it up early when we were trying to bully someone or when someone was trying to bully us. Yes, we learnt it on the streets… as a survival skill.

But, then, if we wish to see a real change in our young-ones, we better take another route… A route that really helps grow our children and students as fine flowers in our gardens…

Oprah Winfrey’s quote comes to my mind:


“Raise your words, not your voice…
It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”


Our shouting and screaming, no matter how well-intended – comes only from our weakness. Once we start getting into that, it is quite difficult to make a reverse turn… For, by now, we have invested so much of our negative emotional-energy – fear, anxiety, hurt, anger, disappointment, insecurity, hopelessness… into it, that it takes a great deal of strength to retreat…


Love is the gentle rain that helps grow ‘flowers’ – our young-ones – in the garden of life… True, as the old saying goes, “We do not have to shout to be heard.”

With a thunder, we can only scare. Or be scared!


GERALD D’CUNHA



Comments

Daniel Lobo said…
In deed, we do not have to shout to be heard. Love is the gentle rain that helps grow flowers in garden called LIFE. Thanks.
February 12, 2015 at 2:54 PM
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