WHEN I AM ALIVE TO MY FEARS, I AM ALIVE TO MY GOD!
Pic.: Sheela Krishnamony
I have written about it a hundred times: that, if fear wasn't’ there in our lives, there wouldn't have been God, too!
At least, I can vouch it for myself. If all things were smooth in my life… no problems or worries of any kind… no struggle or anxiety of any kind, then, I wonder, if I would have ever thought of God, ever prayed, ever thanked, ever visited a church, temple or mosque… ever opened the Scriptures!
Now, am I telling all this for effect?
I have no need for it. I am very honest when I say this; please trust me.
Fear may be the root-cause of all superstitions and manipulations that go on in the name of God and religion. But, I know this much: nobody has manipulated me to confess, that fear has brought me closer to God… It has deepened my faith in Him!
And, let me tell you this, too: My faith in God gets deeper even though worries and anxieties stand outside my door and scare me continuously!
The Lent is on. Jesus Christ – the human, the mortal like you and me – had to go through His own ordeal… the kind you and I would never ever have to do in our lives. Never, ever. He knew it was coming, and he was frightened to death! The mountain-moving faith, which He had gone about preaching, all through, is now put to test… He has lost His courage… Faith is on a trembling ground… He is left in turmoil… He has no strength… “Should I give up all I had taught and run away?”… Doubt overpowers Him… Call it the ‘temptation of Satan or whatever you like… But, to me, He is the real Jesus, experiencing all that you and I would have in such moments… He is scared thinking about the torture and humiliation which are about to befall Him… He doesn't know how to face them…
And, that’s the time, Jesus goes to the secluded place called Gethsemane Garden… There, He goes down on His knees and prays the greatest, the truest and the longest prayer of His life. “Abba, the Father, do away this cup (Test) from me; but, if it is Thy wish, Thy will be done!”
We are told, Jesus Christ, after this prayer, sweats out blood! But, then, with that, goes out all His fear… He is incredibly brave now… Comes out of Gethsemane and stands before those who have come with spears, swords, whips and torches to nab Him…
“Who are you looking for?” Jesus asks them, looking straight into their eye-balls…
“Jesus, the Nazarene,” they shout…
“I am He,” Jesus offers Himself…
From there on, what happens to Jesus Christ is famously chronicled as ‘The Passion of the Christ’!
To me, this episode of Jesus’ life is the most inspiring episode… Like Him, I, too, go to my Gethsemanes, time and time again… go on my knees and say the same prayer:
“Abba, the Father, do away this Test from me; but, if it is Thy wish, Thy will be done!”
Yes, when I am alive to my fears, I am alive to my God…
When I befriend my fears, I befriend my God!