Pic.: Azriel D'Souza
It's more than a week now, and I haven't published a single post on my blog. That's something unusual; for, I love writing... It is my deep need... that, I should express every day. Yes, it makes me feel extremely happy, centered and healed, too.
But, how much of that need to write and express every day comes from my 'ego'?
How much of that comes from my obsessive-compulsory behavior... yes, 'disorder'? The OCD, they call it in psychology.
In fact, someone asked me yesterday, "How do you feel when you have not written a single post for over a week now?"
He was my close friend and he knew how much happy blogging and writing would make me...
When smokers stop smoking and drinkers stop drinking, they experience some withdrawal symptoms. When people like me – those who aren’t used to fasting, who love to eat well – suddenly decide to fast, yes, certainly, we will experience some strange sensation in our body and mind. So, I am so used to writing my daily musings, that my friend was curious to know what was happening inside my system when I had abstained from writing for over a week…
Actually, my office, from where I do my daily writings, is currently being renovated. The computer is taken off… If I desperately wanted, I could have written from home, though office is the place I feel more inspired to write from… Yes, I could have written a small piece or two from anywhere else, too, during these days. But, I consciously chose to abstain… Not to do what I love to do and observe what happens in me.
Lent is going on for us, the Christians… We are encouraged to observe abstinence… consciously eat less, avoid meat, alcohol, cigarettes, sex, and not to mention cheating and fighting…
Some of my friends have gone to Sabrimala. So, they too are observing abstinence…
Today is Monday. I know so many around me who fast and worship Lord Shiva, today… They call it ‘Somvar Vrat’.
There is a problem when I write just because I have been writing everyday… Just the way I eat, smoke, drink, watch TV, make love … l ie, cheat, argue, fight, coup, and even try to please and be good to others… There is a problem when I do all these just because I have been doing them … Even love needs a break … Else, it will be devalued badly!
Sky did not fall in these seven or eight days just because a fellow like me stopped blogging… Lovers hugged and kissed yesterday, the V-Day… and, the fire destroyed the colossal stage meant to showcase ‘Make in India’… The newspapers say, the fire has again come back in the Mankhurd dumping-ground… and, Politics and Pundits are busy doing what they do best…
So, why to make a big deal of my abstinence of one week?
Who really cares… except my own big-bloated self?