MIND CAN BE MUDDY
“Between
the stimulus and the response, there is a space.
In
that space is our power to choose our response.
In
our response lies our growth and freedom.”
Dr.
Victor Frankl in ‘Man’s Search For Meaning’
What
Dr. Frankl tries to convey to us is this:
Our behaviour is
not necessarily the result of what happens to us… It’s not necessary for us to
react, instinctively, to someone’s comments, however taunting or nasty they may
sound… There is no need for us to be a fish for his bait. Let the taunt be just
that - a taunt. Let the nasty comment be just that - a nasty comment. In fact,
unless we attach a special meaning to those comments, they remain just someone’s
words. They become ‘nasty’ only if we allow them to be. The interpretation we give
and the meaning we attach to those words make all the difference.
So, Dr. Frankl’s
explanation makes it difficult for us to complain and play the victim’s role…
that, someone’s behaviour towards us is responsible for our behaviour, or someone’s
words make us sad, mad or angry. He prompts us to see the truth, that, we allow
ourselves to be affected by someone’s behaviour or words… that, there is, always,
another way to go about when the ‘bait’ is thrown before us: Leave the bait
alone, let the words be and let the heat settle down… When the ‘space’ shows up,
it shows us the way!
Dr. Victor
Frankl was a Holocaust survivor, while his dearest ones perished in Nazi
Concentration Camps. The experience in a place like a Nazi Concentration Camp
is of the extreme kind. If you are an inmate, you know where you stand… You
just cannot react or ‘give it back’ to your oppressors… You either silently
suffer in sorrow or bear stoically like a sage. Dr. Frankl was able to do
the latter; and, somehow, he survived. But, even the extreme brutality and
personal loss did not turn him into a helpless victim. After his release from
the Concentration Camp, he used his insights to develop his healing therapy
called ‘Logo Therapy’. The soul of this therapy is: Man can be stripped of
every possession, but not his freedom of choice!
The experience of living within the four walls, during this lockdown period, has
sent many of us into a spin. Suddenly, many of us have become conscious of our ‘personal
space’. Yes, even while living with ‘our own’, we still feel the intrusion into
that personal space. There seems to be that ‘touchiness’… and we find ourselves
constantly reacting or sulking. “Earlier, there was my work place where I could
ease it out,” someone, who just had a nasty argument at home, told me today, “Now,
it’s like living in a Concentration Camp!”
“What if it was
an actual Concentration Camp?” I teased this person, “Calm down, take a long
breath!”
Then, I shared
with him this story…
Mind can be
muddy and make a lockdown experience into a Holocaust!
Do we see the ‘space’ between the stimulus and our response?
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pics.: 1. www.freep.com 2. pxhere.com
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