OUR ADVERSITY QUOTIENT

“Start by doing what is necessary; 

then do what is possible;

and, suddenly, you’ll be doing what’s is impossible.”

Francis of Assisi

In the beginning, there was only one phrase: ‘Common Sense’. Then, someone with ‘extra sense’ said, ‘Let there be IQ’.  Not pleased, another soul, with even more sense, said, ‘Let there be EQ’. No, even that was not impressive enough. Thus, came a soul with extra-ordinary sense and said, ‘Let there be ‘SQ’. Stupid! What about ‘AQ’? So, the Guru of Gurus said, let there be ‘AQ’!

Well, for those like me, who have been long living under the rock, here are the full forms:

IQ = Intelligence Quotient.

EQ = Emotional Quotient.

SQ = Spiritual Quotients (My wife argues, that it is ‘Social Quotient’).

AQ = Adversity Quotient.

The day we learnt about the sad and shocking death of Sushant Singh Rajput, we also learnt about – thanks to WhatsApp University – the ‘Theories of Intelligence’. WhatsApp professors claimed, that only AQ could save us in times like this. So, immediately, many of us went on a self-introspective mode: “Am I prepared to face the adversities in my life?"

Let me share with you my on-going experience with two of my students. Tarun* from twelfth-standard, and Mehul* from T.Y.B.Com.

Tarun’s father, a Chartered Accountant and a top financial officer in his company, wants his son to pursue CA, ideally. He is not pushing it, as he knows his son very well. Tarun is very good in comprehending the subject that I am teaching him – Accountancy. So, it’s clear that he has the right ‘aptitude’. What he lacks is the right ‘attitude’ – the motivation to work hard and long towards his goal. My experience has been this: If one’s goals are clear, and if they are self-chosen, then, motivation to work hard and long comes automatically. One becomes a self-starter automatically. No one needs to coax and cajole him, no one needs to shout and threaten… One is conscious of the fact, that working hard, smart and long is for one’s own good; hence, it’s a choice.

So, yesterday, it’s for the nth time I was trying to put this ‘common sense’ into my boy’s otherwise intelligent head. I also have, in another batch of twelfth standard, a student, whose father is an istriwala… Now, he is jobless. Another student, whose mother is a housemaid… Now, she is at home, without any income. One more student, whose father is a driver. Now, he has lost his job. There is another student, whose father operated a sewing machine in one corner and did alteration jobs. Now, he is without any work for nearly four months. These students – all of them girls – are the first generation to walk into even a junior college… They are highly motivated and full of initiative.

On the other hand, Tarun gets it all ready on his platter… Life, for him, has been smooth, cool… yes, so far. I did try to sensitize him towards preparedness in life… “You never know, my boy… You really never know!”

Yesterday, Tarun promised me, that he would send his homework by an hour, last evening. He did!

My other boy from T.Y. B.Com, Mehul, had suddenly disappeared! “What happened Mehul?” I asked him, through a message, the day before night. After some thirty minutes, I got the reply: “Sir, my mom will call you.”

Every time Mehul faces a situation like this, he puts it on his mother. Mehul comes from a very privileged family. His both parents work. They have a massive house, with a separate air-conditioned room for each child. As there are no maids to help (due to lockdown), Mehul’s mother has too much in hand presently. And, the last thing a young man, who is about to be a ‘graduate’ in a while, should be adding is this ‘additional burden’ to his mother’s endless and thankless yoke. I knew what additional burden Mehul had put on his mother, now: to bail him out of his l’le trouble. Poor mother… She did!

But, later, yesterday, while talking to Mehul, I tried to put some common sense into his young skull. I said: “Beta, mom already has so much on her shoulders. These are difficult times. You are going to be a graduate soon… Can’t you handle these l’le discomforts of yours on your own? When you keep adding this extra burden on your mother, won’t she break at some point? Who else is supposed to understand and lighten her mental and physical burden, if not you young children at home?”

Mehul was truly listening… I could feel that. “Sir, it won’t happen again,” he promised.

Before I had gone on my preaching mode, yesterday, Mehul had asked me, as all- and-sundry do today: “Sir, what’s your opinion on Sushant Singh Rajput’s death?”

After my long sermon, I let my boy know what I thought. I concluded: “My boy, learn to face your l’le challenges in life. That’s my opinion!”

I think, that’s also ‘Common Sense’… The original source of all intelligences!

*Names changed

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: pixabay

Video: Paul Simon & and Garfunkel/arqags79