WHY 'HNY' SHOULD MEAN ONLY 'HAPPY NEW YEAR'
“Everyone
loves a conspiracy.”
Unknown
“Don’t’
read too much into it,” a dear friend of mine, often, cautions me, “you’ll go
crazy!”
If someone has not
responded to your messages or greetings, according to my friend, it only means
this: He has not responded, yet!
The human mind
is so fickle, that it swiftly goes into a victim mode and weaves stories… It
sees red… It goes into the motive and interprets: “He doesn’t care”…”He doesn’t
deserve”… “He thinks too much of himself”… “He does it deliberately and does it
always”… “I will never again wish him, greet him, say ‘Hello’ to him”… etc.,
etc.
“You will go
crazy!” I remember my friend’s caution.
People have
their own reasons for doing what they do or don’ t do. For example: some of my
students just don’t bother to acknowledge my messages or call back. They will
message me or call me only when they want. And, I have tried to inculcate in
them the value of acknowledging a teacher’s messages or calls. But, then, it
hasn’t made any difference in them. My irritation and anger, I have realized, are
my own problems…
“You will go
crazy!” Didn’t my friend caution me?
Say a ‘Hello”
and leave it at that… Offer a smile and leave it that… Do a good deed and leave
it at that…”Neki kar dariya mein daal”!
Tough Sir… Human
mind is weak… It tries to read too much into other people’s actions and
inactions…
Just the day
before yesterday, I had sent a lovey, long New-year greetings to a dear friend
of mine. A day after that came this response:
HNY…
It took some
time for me to figure out what it meant: Happy New Year…
Immediately, my
weak mind got into its usual ‘mind-reading’ mode… “Is he that busy?”… “Is he
that callous?”… “Whatever happened to our good-old friendship?”… etc., etc.
But, then, my good-counsel
friend’s words came back to keep my sanity…
Everyone has his
or her reason for everything. My interpretation – the conspiracy theory – is the
product of my own weak mind… Period!
Let me see it
from the other end. On 29th of December, my elder brother Franklin and his wife Merlyn completed 33 years of
their marriage (I was the Best Man on the wedding day!). However, I had blissfully forgotten about it. Around 8.30
in the night, my youngest brother, Vivek, called me to check if I had wished
them. So, I called and wished my elder brother and his wife. It’s then, I was
asked by my elder brother if I had wished our dear mom on her wedding
anniversary. “It was on 27th December,” my elder brother said, “66th!”
Well, I wished
my mom, too. She was so graceful and large-hearted that she never made me feel
guilty…
By the way, what
was my reason for ‘skipping’? Didn’t I care for my dear ones? Was I too callous
or indifferent?
I don’t like to
be labelled like that… I want people not to read too much into my actions or
inactions…
If so, why
should I read too much into other people's actions or inactions?
Some
12 years ago, the ex-students of the college where I had started my teaching career
had invited me for a grand reunion. That was the first and the last reunion I
have ever attended so far in my life. As it is common in such reunions, students,
who were now well-placed in their lives, had come from near and far… Every
teacher, including me, was picked and dropped. I had arranged to gift away more
than hundred copies of one of my books – ‘Vaachas Chame’ (Grant Me the Power of
Expression’) to the ex-students and retired ex-colleagues. The book had my
personal telephone number, email id, website and Blog id and my full address.
But, even after two years, I received not a single message or call from either
my ex-students or my ex-colleagues.
Did I feel bad?
Did I become bitter?
Of course, I
did.
My mind
constantly was trying to read too much into this episode… till two years after
that episode. It was 31st December night… Time was around 10… I was returning
back to Mumbai (from my hometown) by train… My phone rang, and the voice of the
woman on the other end sounded very nervous… She managed to tell her name and
said, that she was my ex-student and had received a copy of my book on the
reunion day… “Sir, I was too nervous to call you up and say ‘Thank you’… But,
my husband has been nudging me to do it. Finally, today, on this new-year eve,
he made me call you… He, too, wants to talk to you, Sir.”
This gentleman
spoke for over twenty minutes that night. He told me how they both had loved my
book and how bad they were feeling, all along, for not saying a ‘Thank you’…
We remained good
friends since that night!
Yesterday, as we
exchanged the New-year greetings, we also reminded each other about the decade-old
episode…
It’s
best – and it’s wise – not to read too much into other people’s actions or
inactions… “Why HNY - why not Happy New Year?”
It’s such a
silly issue… Life is too short and too precious to be wasted on it.
Incidentally,
today – 2nd Jan – is our dad’s death anniversary. While wishing her
on New-year day, our mom always reminds us of dad’s passing away… It was a Sunday,
38 years ago… Mom and dad had dressed up to go to church to attend the
early-morning Mass. But, strangely, dad asked our mom to proceed and said he
would follow… She proceeded keeping the main door open… When she returned from
the Mass, she found our dad lying on the same sofa… He had gone quietly!
So many times,
we children forget to remember this day, only to be reminded by our mom. But,
then, we haven’t heard mom grumbling…
She knows us… We
know her… Dad, too, knows us…
And, that is
enough…
Yes, enough
reason why HNY should mean ‘Happy New Year’… and, nothing other than that…
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic’s: pixabay
Video: Elvis and Khaleesi
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