MAKING PEACE WITH SHYNESS

 


“Isn’t it rich?

Are we a pair?

Me here at last on the ground

You in mid-air

Send in the clowns…

Where are the Clowns?” 

(From the song ‘Send in the Clowns’ by Stephen Sondheim)


Sometimes, it becomes easy for me to identify where in this world I belong. Let’s divide the people of this vast world into two kinds – Those who are naturally confident. And, those who aren’t.

And, where do I belong?

Living my life for close to 63 years, I am comfortable in saying, that I belong to the category of people who aren’t naturally confident. That said, I do not feel bad about this state – a state which keeps me eternally on the edge, or, shall I say this – on my raw nerves… nervous?

Making peace with my shyness and nervousness hasn’t been easy for me, at all. Nobody likes to see himself in awkward positions in a group. Nobody likes to see himself trembling, going blank… worrying endlessly about facing an audience. Nobody likes to experience that deep feeling of being worthless, or not up to the mark… It’s so intimidating, that it makes one hide from showing up…

And, imagine this: when one hides himself from public, he buries all that is really good about him. Isn’t it true of nervous people?




Luckily, at 63 – and after trying to make peace with my own acute state of nervousness - I can confidently say, now, that the answer to the above question need not be ‘Yes’ always…

I have learnt in my own life, that my shyness and nervousness will forever remain as an integral and inseparable part of my personality… my uniqueness. That, they are there to help me work harder and remain humbler… They help me bring the best out of me… and this: they help me become a compassionate human being and understand the plight of the underdogs…

Therefore, every time I see little kids or adults perform in public with natural grace and confidence, I no longer feel inferior at all (as I used feel, once). Yes, I feel happy for them. But, I feel even happier for folks like me who can stick their necks out, all through their struggle, and say, with greater grace and confidence, “I did it despite my fear.”

My teaching, training, mentoring, writing – and almost everything I do – comes from this innate state of trying to discover myself… This wonder of blooming, like a beautiful rose, amidst the sharp thorns!

And, that’s why, I am able to say, now, that I am perfectly fine with my shyness and nervousness... I am at Peace. I won’t complain about being born shy and nervous. Instead, I thank God for it… I accept it as a ‘Gift’, as an ‘opportunity’… and endeavour to make the most of it…




Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns…”
 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic.: pixabay

 

Videos: 1. Britain's Got Talent 2. Got Talent Global

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