GHAR KA CHIRAG

 




“If we want to fully experience love and belonging,

we must  believe we are worthy of love and belonging.”

Brene Brown


 

“At what age do you think our self-esteem begins to shape up?” I have heard this question in our every workshop on ‘Self-esteem’. Incidentally, the ‘Self-esteem’ workshop has been the very first workshop with which THE DAWN CLUB would begin its every summer programme for young kids for their ‘Personality Development’. And, for over three decades, it has been conducted by the same facilitator – Swami Brahmavidananda Saraswati (Shree Ram Mohan).

The self-esteem is the foundation upon which the edifice called ‘Personality’ is raised. This explains as to why we have been commencing the two-month summer programme with a workshop on ‘Self-esteem’.

As I mentioned, Swamiji would prompt the parents and students, both, with the question: “At what age do you think our self-esteem begins to shape up?”

While the answers differ, many tell what Swamiji wants to convey: “It begins to shape up from the day the baby is born.”

During the workshop on ‘Self-esteem’, the participants get to know about how the parental messages play their key role in building or demolishing the self-esteem of little ones. For example, the Nurturing and Structural messages are the positive messages, which reinforce the self-esteem. On the other hand, the Critical messages shake it. To illustrate how Nurturing messages help little ones to believe in themselves – that they are worthy of love and belonging, Swamiji shares this episode in his every session…

Once, Swamiji was invited  to the house of one of his students. It was a Sikh household, with grandparents, parents and little children… A five-year-old kid was just entering home after his kindergarten school… He went straight into the arms of his grandfather… The grandfather – a tall and strong Sardarji – lifted this little fellow, kept throwing up and catching him – with his roaring song… “Ghar ka chirag aagaya… Ghar ka chirag aagaya… Ghar ka chirag aagaya…”  

Through this episode, the participants – particularly the parents – would get to take home the truth, that one’s ‘Self-esteem’ began to shape up from the baby days, and the Nurturing messages from the parents and grandparents played a significant role in doing so.





I fondly remembered this episode, this morning… As usual, around 7.45, I walk into our building lift and I find these two cute, little boys – about age 5 or 6. They are identical twins. They are on their way to school… Their grandparents come with them… I love the enthusiasm and love exuded by these Sikh, elderly grandparents… One of the boys seems fresh as morning daisy, the other seems a bit dull… “His sleep is incomplete,” the grandmother tells me pulling the little fellow closer to her… “No, I am not sleepy,” the little fellow retorts… “No putthar, you are not sleepy – you are fresh… Say ‘Good morning’ to uncle,” the grandfather prods…

“Good morning uncle,” the life comes back!

It is a sight to behold as the two little sardars settle on their grandfather’s scooter to head towards their school, bidding ‘Bye… Bye… Bye…” to their grandmother, who heads towards her walking track…

How life is infused by little kids into every grandparent’s life! It’s a new life, a new reason to look forwards to each day… for them.

“Is it not the way to reinforce the self-esteem of the elderly?” I wonder,  “Is there an age we can stop building our ‘self-esteem’?

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic.: 1. Willsantt/Pixels

 

Video: FilterCopy

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