WHERE IS MY DAD, TODAY?
My dad died on 2nd Jan. Twenty-six years ago. We remembered him, a lot, yesterday.
My dad was a simple village man. Though his education was barely sufficient for him to read and write, he was a keen political observer. He admired Mrs. Indira Gandhi and America like anything. In fact, shamelessly!
Like any other children, we had given him a great deal of stress. His means were limited. He and my mom always juggled with finances to keep us going. Children, generally, do not understand how difficult it is for their parents to run a house, to raise their children. My parents had five children to raise. I have only one. If it is so difficult for me and my wife to deal with our situation, now, how tough it must have been for our parents!
That insight, that empathy, seldom comes when we are young.
It comes, when the time comes. When the coin changes its side!
I remembered my dad, a lot, yesterday. How nice it would have been for him, for them both, had we five sons hassled them less, had we understood their problems!
It may be late. But, it must be expressed.
Often, while talking to my only son, when I try to sensitise him to our realities, I talk about my parents to him. "Just imagine, son. Where are my parents, today? My dad is no more, and my mom doesn't live with me," I tell him. "They did their best to prepare us for this day. Whatever we are today, is it not because of their love and affection, because of the sacrifices they made for us, all those days? Look, life moves on ... Parents become old, sick and pass away ... Then, our turn comes ... Then, yours'. The coin keeps changing its sides, son."
If I do not live with my mom, today (She lives with my elder brother, in our home town), what guarantee is there, that we will live with our only son, tomorrow? I tell my son, "Look son, your mom had only one brother, and he is settled with his family in America. Your mom was the only daughter for her parents, and she lives here. Her elderly parents live, on their own, in home town. For whose sake, they made all the sacrifices?"
Is it early for my son to understand all this? I really do not know.
But, it must be expressed.
I know, the coin will change its side, soon!
GERALD D'CUNHA
My dad was a simple village man. Though his education was barely sufficient for him to read and write, he was a keen political observer. He admired Mrs. Indira Gandhi and America like anything. In fact, shamelessly!
Like any other children, we had given him a great deal of stress. His means were limited. He and my mom always juggled with finances to keep us going. Children, generally, do not understand how difficult it is for their parents to run a house, to raise their children. My parents had five children to raise. I have only one. If it is so difficult for me and my wife to deal with our situation, now, how tough it must have been for our parents!
That insight, that empathy, seldom comes when we are young.
It comes, when the time comes. When the coin changes its side!
I remembered my dad, a lot, yesterday. How nice it would have been for him, for them both, had we five sons hassled them less, had we understood their problems!
It may be late. But, it must be expressed.
Often, while talking to my only son, when I try to sensitise him to our realities, I talk about my parents to him. "Just imagine, son. Where are my parents, today? My dad is no more, and my mom doesn't live with me," I tell him. "They did their best to prepare us for this day. Whatever we are today, is it not because of their love and affection, because of the sacrifices they made for us, all those days? Look, life moves on ... Parents become old, sick and pass away ... Then, our turn comes ... Then, yours'. The coin keeps changing its sides, son."
If I do not live with my mom, today (She lives with my elder brother, in our home town), what guarantee is there, that we will live with our only son, tomorrow? I tell my son, "Look son, your mom had only one brother, and he is settled with his family in America. Your mom was the only daughter for her parents, and she lives here. Her elderly parents live, on their own, in home town. For whose sake, they made all the sacrifices?"
Is it early for my son to understand all this? I really do not know.
But, it must be expressed.
I know, the coin will change its side, soon!
GERALD D'CUNHA
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