BEING SIMPLE

Someone told me yesterday this:

“Gerry, the thing I admire the most about you is, that you are unbelievably simple.”

I did feel good when I heard this. 

Because ‘Simplicity’ is a value I cherish, it reflects in whatever I do in my life.

But, after this person had left, I wondered for a while: “What he meant by ‘Simplicity’?” I really wished, I could I ask this person!

A few things come before me when I think about this subject. Yes, these ‘few things’ come to me so naturally, without any effort… and, these things come from my heart… and I feel strong when I go by them. I would like to list them down, here.

I EXPRESS MY FEELINGS:

 

Yes, I do express my feelings openly, frankly and genuinely. If I am happy because of some person’s words or gesture, I would quickly, and with all my gratitude, let the other person know how happy I am because of this person’s words or gesture. There is no calculation needed before I express my feelings.

Similarly, if I am scared, insecure and jealous… I do express that as well… and, I do it with all my openness… without blaming or accusing… Instead, by expressing my need for help in this regard. I tell the concerned person, “I need your help to deal with my fear, my insecurity, and my jealousy.” Invariably, that helps. When another person sees me as a mortal, as human as he is, and when he sees that he is looked up to - for bringing some sunshine in another person’s life – his help is bound to come.

Then, there are my hurts, there is my pain. I always try to talk about them to the concerned person. Again, I try to do it without blame… without making him feel guilty. Talking about my hurts and pain is something I learnt quite early in life. And I realized that every time I spoke to another person about my hurt feelings and my pain, and when I spoke to this person with a great deal of trust and vulnerability, I always would come out healed and stronger. Similarly, whenever I realize that another person is hurt and is in pain due to  my behavior, I would not let that just pass. It is important for me to talk to this person - own up, apologize… assure him that I would not repeat my act.  And, again, I would do it with all my heart, with no prodding from anyone, with no strings attached to my olive branches. 

Finally, the most important feeling: my admiration, my appreciation, my gratitude and my love. I express these feelings spontaneously and genuinely. There is nothing greater than this that another person longs to hear from me… and there is nothing greater than this that I long to hear from him. It is, yes, the deep aching need of my soul… his soul. And, I should never think twice before my heart pours out what it feels.

So, to me, the first thing about ‘Simplicity’ is: I am able to express my feelings freely, sincerely… with respect, trust and dignity.

I FOCUS ON MY NEEDS AND NOT WANTS:

 

I learnt quite early in my life that if I separate my needs from my wants, a large part of my stress and anxiety would fall. In Economics, I learnt that our Wants were unlimited… They were insatiable by their very nature and they had the tendency to recur again and again and again. Like everyone else around, often, I get tempted and fall into the trap of running after my Wants… and I see myself chasing an illusion… It is like running after a mirage in a desert. Or, like a dog trying desperately to get its tail!

My Needs are, always, limited. 

They the basics of my life… 

Hence, the more I identify 

and focus on them, 

the less anxious 

and stressful I become. 

 

If I do not know how to live well in my hut, I will not know how to do it even if live in my royal mansion? If I do not value how to wear with dignity and gratitude those couple of outfits I possess, I will never know it - even if I have a thousand finest brands in my wardrobe. If I do not know, how to relish, with a prayer in my heart, that simple food on my plate, how will I - even if I am able to feast, every day,  on Five-star menus?

The value of the penny is the value of my money! The mere size of wealth can never bring financial security in my heart… But, the wisdom that I can manage my life with little... can!

So, I think, I am ‘Simple’- when I am able to keep my focus on meeting my Needs… and stop chasing an illusion: ‘I will become happy when I will become rich!’

I am rich now, or never!

 I FIND HAPPINESS ALONG THE WAY:

This, perhaps, is the most important secret. Probably is the reason why I write so much every day, for so many years. We keep hearing this statement:

“Happiness comes along the way… and, not at the end or our journey.”

We also keep hearing this:

 

“The road to Success is always under construction.”

Or, this:

“LIFE is what happens to us when we are busy preparing for it.”

The wayside is Life. The path itself is the Destination. The preparation itself is the Test. The process of living itself is Life. All Gods live here on Earth… and I will meet Them along my very pilgrimage… and, not when it ends!

Yes, happiness doesn’t come in my waiting and hoping. It doesn’t lie ‘out there’ and doesn’t come tomorrow. It is Here, and, it comes Now! Everything that I see on my wayside is God-send. Everyone I meet, here, is God Himself! Yes, there is this ‘extra-ordinary’ in the ‘ordinary’!

There is Greatness in Simplicity!

There is beauty!

And, this beauty is there all around me…  in all its abundance!

Just like my smile. Just like my teardrops. Just like my heartbeats!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: Vivek D’Cunha