Thursday, February 2, 2012

THE ENCOUNTER
























“Truly, our day is made up of these small gestures… and our day is made even better by bringing a smile on someone-else’s face! All of us should keep spreading positive energy and smiles wherever we go… with whomever we meet.

We all feel life is so complicated, when it is actually not… if we live our each day as our last day!

Cheers on ‘Have a Great Day’!!”




These are not my lines… Nor is the heart that whispers them!

Seventeen-year-old Maanvi, my dear student, sent them as a comment for my yesterday’s post – ‘Have A Great Day’. I have already told in that post how a simple, well-meant greeting, such as ‘Have A Great Day’, can actually make our day ‘Great’!


Not only my day, but also my night went well, yesterday… Yes, just by inhaling and exhaling that positive energy which was there all in the air!


And, then, at night, Maanvi sent me that comment. I was moved!


About eighteen years ago, just after three years of our marriage, both, my wife and I, had been for a week-end retreat. The Catholic Church gives us so many wonderful opportunities, like these retreats, to re-charge our dwindling spirits, to re-align our lives, time and time again. For couples, we have the Marriage Preparation retreat before we really get into the marriage, and after we are married, we have this wonderful retreat called ‘The Marriage Encounters’. 


One week-end, we had attended one of these Marriage Encounters. There were many young and old couples – very, very old even… some of them coming there, almost, every year to rejuvenate themselves! And, there were a couple of Nuns! We learnt later, even they were married… Yes, to Christ, whom they  had devoted their entire life for!


On the very first day, the lead couple had asked us to write down just three most important compliments – something we really, really  longed in our hearts to tell our partners all our married lives, but for some reasons, we hadn’t…. And, we had to also write just three serious complaints – the most painful and the most unforgettable and unforgivable  grievances - against our partner that, all along, consumed our souls with pain and bitterness. It sounded so easy to do. Oh, why just three... there were hundreds, particularly the complaints! But then, what made this simple-looking exercise so challenging was that we had to tell it to our partner (in our letters) assuming – really feeling – that we had just a day to live here on earth. Yes, here with our partners!


We wrote, we tore, we wrote, we tore… yes, we wrote down our complaints and we tore them down… till we all kept weeping in the silence of that night! Some alone… and most of us holding our partners’ hands… Just not saying anything… Just being there in that pervading quietness of the night!


Maanvi has a long time to encounter this experience, I know. But, this seventeen-year-old’s thoughts had just the same message.


“Hey dude, life is cool!” Well, this is the lingo of Maanvi’s clan. “Just chill, dude!”


And, I think that's how it should be… Life should be cool… and, we all should – the dudes and dads – yes, all of us should learn how just to chill. In Life!




But then, what made this message

so cool,

and helped me chill – 

was the way she conveyed, 

with such depth and maturity:


“We all feel life is so complicated, 

when it is actually not…

if we live our each day 

as our last day!”

 

Does a seventeen-year old live his or her each day like that?

Eighteen years ago, that night, when we had just completed three years of our marriage – I was thirty-five, and my wife was 26 – we both did think about it, seriously… We had cried! Then, again, as most of us do, we also kept reasoning: “It can’t be… No, it can’t be our last day… We have years and years to live!”


Thank you Maanvi for wishing me last morning – “Carpe Diem”… Seize the day! And yes, for freshly reminding me that I am, certainly, not an exception. 


Who has seen the tomorrow’s Sun?




GERALD D’CUNHA

THANKS:
The image used in this Post is by Ashok Ahuja. He is a professional Photographer and a very dear friend of mine. He is also one of the founder members of The Dawn Club, and, along with his gifted-artist wife, Sudha, has been helping me, and the Club, right from its inception.










14 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Seize the day,"... I got a fresh meaning of this line, which I have used, so often... so mechanically!

Wonderful work!

God bless you, Gerald!

-- Mrs. Khanna (Kaushik's mom)

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Yes ma'am... we do take that line so mechanically!

Thanks for the comment,

Love,

GERALD

Ashish Srivastava said...

I have but nothing to give … nothing to say … nothing to share. My givings are my misgivings with you, or so you believe and think. I think not. Openness of heart can invite misgivings. Openness of heart can provide subtle relief of togetherness. Openness of heart can divide, join and dissipate all that one is supposed to believe and honor. Be that. Be strong and with will, it fills with abstract form somewhat rapidly.
I read this somewhere and thought to post it as my comment!
Isnt it so true Gerry?

maanvi said...

sir since im ur student but naturally dere has to b ur influence on mee! :) all my words r inspired by you! sometimes i feel its very easy to say all dis ....but to live up to it is very difficult! lke u said who has seen 2morros sun , we dont know wat d future holds so if v keep on worrying and concentrating all our energies on our future how r v even going live d present when our present decides our future some of us also live in d past and ruin our present ,we dont understand dat d past is buried n gone, we cant change it but we can always use it as an experience for our present n future course of actions and learn from it!
sir thank you.

sonal said...

We are all humans and scum to the circumstances but i felt indeed elated when i read ur blog on how beautifully u had made a blog on her thoughts. More so because as you said it bought positive energy..
Marriage encounters brought up here should be more frequently done as an exercise for all of us because often in the race of life we often forget the four letter word "Love" and tend to race for the materialistic things in life...

Girish Dhameja said...

Great Guru Chanakya has said that this world consists of Negative and Positive vibes. What you think will expereince the same. And as right said u inhale positive energy and the same will exhale and will spread. Some few days before, to a taxidriver i said u drive well. And driving well will make u to earn well. We gave me an innocent smile and even in that smile i could see the positive energy. We dont know what will happen tomorrow so better to enjoy and feel every moment.

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Oh Yes, Ashish... this paradox seems really so true!

I liked when u remind , 'Openness of our hearts can divide, join or dissipate all that one is supposed to believe and honor..."

Keep giving me these insights!

Thanks,

Love,

GERRY

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Maanvi, nothing in life is written on the wall! Be flexible... Yes, all that u think right, at this point of time, u can question tomorrow... Be a soul yearning to be good... Keep your intentions clean... wish well for others...

Tmorw will take care of itself...Focus on today, this moment!

Wish u all the best,

Love,

SIR

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Thanks Sonal for the response...

U must have heard of this famous line, "Life gave a lemon... I made a lemonade."

Maanvi's thought was the lemon Life gave me last morning. I just made a lemonade!

Glad, u all liked it!

Love,

GERRRY

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Yes Girish, every moment of our life, we have choices to make... and the quality of our choices is the quality of our well-being!

Keep reading and helping,

Thanks,

Love,

GEERRRY

Satish Kumar said...

We all know this fact, that, we have to take life easily but we ourselves make it complicated every time and most of the time in our thoughts we cook lot of vengeance,revenge,arguments which gets reproduced in our behavior with our partner and others. In fact, if you analyze the quarrels between partners, the matter would be too trivial and this can be eradicated if we think that today is my day and i have to make the most out of life.

Well,it was easy for me to write these things but do i myself follow it. Rome was not built in a day and hence i fake it till i make it....satish kumar

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Wow Satish...!! I had forgotten about this famous phrase "I fake it, till I make it!!"

We all do it; don't worry... on the same boat we all are - 'the Fakers'!

But then, because we long to 'make it', I think, this 'faking' is very spiritual, very divine!

Cheers to us, Fakers!!

Love,

GERRY

S V A said...

Wow! This is so touching & so important to remember in any relationship especially one so important as Marriage. Beautiful Sir.So often we disagree with our spouse/parents etc on trivial matters that are blown out of proportion because of our ego. If we were to think about it as our last day together, I am sure most of us will not say or do the things that we usually do which hurts our partner for life.With your permission I would like to share this story in other forums.

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Hey Anand, I am glad u found this post touching... Yes, the moments like these can humble us... !

Pl feel free to use this article for any forum or Face book. I want many more to benefit from it.

Love and gratitude,

GERRY