Gerald D'Cunha

A young one asked me just this morning: “Sir, I am planning to give GRE; is it tough?” I had to answer him: “Yes, it is,” or, “No, it is not.” I only smiled and said, “Sit down.” For next fifteen minutes, we discussed on the subject: “How, who do it, are able to do it?” In other words: “What it takes to do it?” The young man, apparently, was inspired by his cousin who had passed the exam and had gone to the US to do his MBA in one of the top Universities and then got settled there with a fantastic lifestyle. “Have you checked with your cousin as to how he did it?” I asked him during our discussion, “Have you asked him as to what it took to do it?” “No sir, I haven’t,” confessed the young man. “Can you do that for a few days from now?” I asked him. “Yes, I can do it online and through phone even; he is close to me,” the young man said. “That’s great,” I exclaimed, “Probably, you may not need the an...

I love the guy who praises me, my work. I love him for the obvious reason: he praises me! I feel good when he praises me, my work. So, he is my friend… I love him! But, what about the guy, who criticizes me, my work? No, I don’t feel good when he does that… So, he is not my friend… I don’t love him! This does sound like a juvenile rationale… “Kids do such things!”… It is easy to castigate it like that. But, freeze for a moment! We do behave like kids… Because, it is easy to love a person when he compliments you… and, tough when he chides! Well, once again, I said ‘we’. Yes, I have generalized. Therefore, let me correct by saying this: I, a 54-year-old teacher/parent/husband/son etc., do behave like a small kid when it comes to ‘bouquets’ and ‘brickbats’ in life! To accept someone’s compliments does not demand my character-strength. But, to accept gracefully, and in right learning-spirit, his c...

In many of us, the need to win an argument is more compelling than the need to win a friend! Of the many attachments we have in life, the attachment to our opinions, often, seems be the strongest one. Our compelling need to win our arguments – prove ourselves right, score a point – yes, this stems from our innate attachment to our own opinions.  It is difficult to get off a tiger’s back, once we have climbed it! Our tendency to argue with others – ironically, most of them are with our own dear and near ones – just reminds us of this tiger-safari… It is sensible to leave the tiger alone… I come across this man very regularly. He is highly qualified, holds a doctorate and a high post in a multinational company… earns a handsome package; his wife, even more qualified, earns more than her husband. I know both of them. What puzzles me is this: the husband has an opinion on every subject, every event, every person… yes...

My young son was insistent that I should watch the first two editions of Christopher Nolan’s trilogy on ‘The Batman’. So, at home, he arranged to screen for me, along with his own authentic commentary, the first two Batman classics – ‘The Batman Begins’ and ‘The Dark Knight’. Yes, I had missed both of them when they were first released. This time, I truly enjoyed the ‘Super-hero’ drama… I was, particularly, overwhelmed by the genius of the filmmaker – Christopher Nolan… his convictions, his vision, his grit and his stupendous hold on the medium. And, of course, his infectious passion. It left me speechless… Inspired! So, this morning, I watched, along with my son, the last edition of the trilogy – ‘The Dark Knight Rises’… Where else?  You need to watch it only on a giant screen at IMAX, parked yourself on one of the top-most seats! I could realize the reason why my young son had gone all way out to watch the very first sh...

Someone had referred this young man to me. So, he came a month ago to seek my help in the three accounts subjects of T.Y. B’Com. He had failed in all three of them in the latest exams. Now, he was here with me seeking my help.  I took him in.  As I started teaching him over the days, I realized that he deeply disliked the subjects which he was learning from me. He wasn’t showing any enthusiasm, skipped the homework regularly with one excuse or another… and, when I became strict, he would skip the class the following day. Talking to his parents turned a futile exercise… as the young man seemed to detest their attempts to change him even further. So, it was high time I taught him something else before he learnt from me ‘accounts’! I changed gears, immediately. I started talking to him on a heart-to-heart level. Earlier, when I had made several attempt to drill in his head the ‘reminder’ that he had ‘failed’ and ‘...

Like many of my well-wishers, Paul, my friend, too, had sent me B’day wishes, this morning. In the end, he wrote, “I, for one, believe that we should live life as if each day is our B’day.”  I had said the same thing, so often, to so many before! So, when Paul reminded me of it, this morning, I thought I would reflect on it for a while. “Do I live my life as if each day of my life is my B’day?” No sir, I don’t! Honestly, I don’t. Like all of you guys, out there, I wait for my B’day to come… and, when it comes, I cut the cake, blow the candle and have some special time with my family… My B’day is on 24 th July… I wait for the day to come, to celebrate it! No matter how old we are… how rich and how poor, how literate or illiterate, how handsome or how ugly… a B’day is a special day for all of us. When someone calls you or message you to greet, it does feel good. You feel young and counted… cared for and honored. And yes, t...

What we deeply admire, we attract.  That’s the ancient Law of Attraction… in the recent years, made extremely popular by Rhonda Byrne in her DVD and the book – ‘The Secret’. When we deeply admire a person for some of his qualities, we attract those qualities in us. It is the best way to shape our character. Yes, that’s why the person who we deeply admire and try to emulate is known as our ‘role model’.  We become the heroes we worship! We do. Last night, I was watching an interview with my hero, Sachin Tendulkar. It was somewhere in Dubai, and in front of a select audience. The questions were very simple and direct and Sachin was humility personified, as he is always. We find it difficult to believe that, in spite of such mind-boggling fame, success and power, Sachin still comes about as someone who lives next-door! He is unbelievably unassuming and down-to-earth. We can feel that his stupendous fame has not touched him. He...

Dr. Napoleon Hill, in his famous book – ‘The Law of Success’, emphasizes on one important law of personal growth: ‘Going the extra-mile’. I was about 21 or 22 when I got hold of this book. By then, I had been heavily influenced by Dr. Hill’s most coveted classic – ‘Think & Grow Rich’. The Law of Success, thus, did not have much to contribute to my growth’, even though for millions, worldwide, this voluminous bestseller was ‘the Bible’. To me, it was ‘Think & Grow Rich’. It still is! However, even at that young age, the law of ‘Going the extra-mile’ appealed me, instantaneously. I could feel the quiet power concealed in this law. And, I knew, it was the easiest of all other Success laws to follow… As, to go the extra-mile meant: going beyond the call of duty! All that I had to do was: do the work with my full heart… with all the passion in the world… Do it with love, do with joy… and do it for more hours than expected, do more than what was pai...