FROM INSIDE... OUT

On Monday, Dr. Stephen R. Covey died. He was 79. Just some three months ago, he had been knocked unconscious in a bi-cycle accident. On Monday, he succumbed to those injuries.

Dr. Covey was really a great teacher… and, a great man!

Yes, much before he became a world-wide sensation, as far as self-development concept was concerned, Dr. Covey was just an ordinary University teacher. And, even after such phenomenal success of his books, DVD’s and training programmes, even after orbiting the globe so rapidly and so often, he still remained a teacher in whatever he did: his writings, speeches, training or counseling. 

He remained rooted in simplicity.

Dr. Covey reminded all of us this: “Start from inside out.” This meant: our inside success had to come first – as an individual we needed to have tremendous integrity with well-defined values. It was only when we had achieved our inner victory, the success within, that we could go about the outside victory, the success without.

For most of us, it was never so. We, invariably, chased the ‘outside’ success – material achievements: money, fame, power and position.

Most of us spent our life-time climbing the ‘success ladder’, with the hope that, one day, we would be ‘up there’… on top!

Dr. Covey tirelessly reminded all of us: “Make sure that your ladder is leaned against the ‘right wall’!”

And yes, the reminder was badly needed. For, most of us do realize late in our lives, after spending a life-time pursuing our ambitions, that our ladders are leaned against the ‘wrong walls’!

By then, it is too late, for most of us. 

Hence, Dr. Covey’s gentle reminder has served as a timely ‘wake-up call’, for most of us. 

It was Dr. Covey who made the word ‘Proactive’ so familiar to all of us. At least, to me… yes, he did. Even after reading hundreds of inspirational books before Dr. Covey’s classic - ‘Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’, I had never registered in my mind, ever before, this term: “Being Proactive’. 

I consider this term to be one of the most potent words in the entire self-developmental vocabulary.

Every problem, every solution… every change has to happen from this base station called – ‘Be Proactive’.

True, others had said it. But, when Dr. Covey, the great teacher said it, there was a different meaning to it, altogether.

Even his other famous Principle – 'Seek to understand and then to be understood’ – yes, even this Principle is directly an off-shoot of his first Principle – ‘Be Proactive’.

Whenever I tend to get into blame game, arguments and ego-trip, this simple piece of reminder calms me down, helps me see things in perspective: “Wait a minute; listen to him with empathy, with your guards down… Try to understand him, truly… and, then, you try to present your case, your view point…”

The startling fact about this principle is, that if we truly empathize and try to understand another person, there is nothing left to prove... no need for him to understand us!

This means, when we truly try to understand another person, we understand ourselves. It liberates us from the bondage of ‘being victimized’ by the other. The blame game ends.

A man, who isn’t happy with himself, 

can not be happy with his family. 

And, without a happy family, no success – 

no matter how huge in terms of 

 wealth, fame, power and position – 

is worth it. 

Well, we all know it. 

Still, when Dr. Covey reminds us of it, 

it sinks straight into our hearts!

Yes, it does.

 

Finally, in this Post, I would like to share with my readers the one lesson Dr. Covey had imparted, so eloquently and so lucidly. It is so practical and so effective to build amazing relationships, and to experience a holistic sense of well-being… yet, I have miles to go to really implement in my own life. 

I would like to paraphrase Dr. Covey’s this lesson in my own words. “Every time you make a small promise to some one and keep it, every time you sincerely apologize when you fail to keep your promise, you end up making a small emotional deposit into the bank called ‘Relationship’. When you keep doing it, over a long period of time, it grows into a ‘massive deposit’. Conversely, every time you consciously hurt some one, lie, mislead, remain adamant, you make an ‘emotional withdrawal’. And, when you keep doing it over a period of time, it, too, grows into a ‘colossal overdraft’.

What a simple analogy!

When I reflect on this lesson of Dr. Covey, I feel humbled, even ashamed…

I have miles to go before I can honestly claim that I have learnt Dr. Covey’s simple lessons…

Maybe, that’s why I revere him so much. Dr. Stephen R. Covey. 

“Leaving the legacy” used to be his last chapter…

The life of this man has left enough of it… for a whole mankind!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: Vivek D,Cunha