THE DUMB FORWARDS

When I was in school/college, there were no mobiles and internet. At our residence, we did not have telephone, even.

But, we had an active Post Office. The local post man was really the local 'hero'. He was invited for every function in our families... For many families, he was indispensable: he read out their letters. And, the Telegram postman was someone 'special'... a man on a special mission. When he came to the village, the whole village would come around him. For, he came to deliver a one-liner: 

"Grandmother serious; start immediately!"

"Uncle Thomas passed away; funeral tmro at 5!"

And, even as he was still there getting your signature or thumb impression on his roll, the ladies would start wailing hysterically!

A post card and an inland letter were our constant companions. For longer letters, we used postal envelopes. There was an 'Express in-land letter' and one special for the foreign correspondence... We called it ‘Air-mail’! We would go for them as situations demanded.  But, all our communications happened through these postal media.

Most of today’s kids have never seen a postal card or envelop. They have never seen a telegram… or an Air-mail. Leave alone writing a letter or sending a telegram!

Yes, they have the mobiles, laptops, tablets, i-pads, i-phones and their PC’s to send their texts – sms’s, mms’s and e-mails.

When these kids grow up, all these may go extinct and, God alone knows, what that would be for the future generation!

I thought of writing on this subject, today, for a specific reason: to write on what I would like to call – ‘The Dumb forwards!’

We, as high school or college kids, would get some irritating inland-land letters. It was a chain. The letter would tell you – rather warn you with dire consequences – to continue the chain... The recipient of the letter had to write something like a dozen identical letters and post to his friends and relatives urging /warning them to do the same. It would be about Mother Mary’s miracle at some remote corner of the world. The graces She would shower upon you if you obeyed and continued the chain… And, the dire consequences you might have to face if you didn’t. How someone got a paralytic attack or met with a misfortune just because he broke the chain!

So, the fear-psychology, always, worked. 

Who wanted the trouble? 

So, the easy route out: 

write twelve identical letters and post them, 

of course, without revealing your identity!

I still remember, even highly educated and the most sophisticated people too would fall prey to this bait. They would simply stop thinking and act. Like gullible.

One of my college friends was John. A great happy-go-lucky guy. He never took anything seriously, including studies or even cyclones and earthquakes! Whenever a letter like this came to John, it would become some great entertainment to us, his friends: he would surround himself with fifteen/twenty friends and perform a reading session. He would make a mockery of the content, poke fun at the faceless gullible who had kept the chain going, he would dramatize the gory consequences - the hell-fire… and highlight the graces – the heavenly glory!

“Anybody for heaven?” he would call out.

Nobody.

“Remember the punishment!”

Nobody cared!

So, John would teach us how to see a ‘dumb’ thing as a ‘dumb’ thing!

Thanks to this sensible eccentric, I and my friends could muster enough courage not to write and post those ‘dumb’ letters.

That was close to thirty-five years ago.

These kinds of forwards – sms’s and e-mails – still come to me. Very similar… warning me to keep alive the chain… Else!!!

Yes, else!!!

But, these need not come from the religious fanatics alone. They come from political activists, social crusaders, reality TV-show producers and all sorts. Everybody has their marketing agents – call them their hench-men – to promote. Yes, the fear, or  greed,  psychology still works. No matter how educated you are, when a letter or a forward like this comes to you, you do get unsettled. 

Unless you have a John around you to help you see how dumb you could be!

A John did surface, last afternoon. 

During the week just gone by, I must have received at least ten messages on my cell-phone. Yes, identical:

“Pls call toll free no 08082891024

 to vote for SARDAR PATEL

on our currency notes.

 Ambedkar is leading and will win if V don’t vote.

Frwrd this msg like fire!”

At least, we now know who has forwarded this message. Two of the guys who had sent this message to me were highly qualified! 

Last afternoon, when I received one more from another qualified guy, I held my cell-phone before a friend of mine who happened to be present in my office. He instantly laughed and showed me the reply he had sent to the one who had forwarded the same message to him a day earlier: 

“Well, my dear friend, I will certainly forward 

this message to my friends – as you said – ‘like fire’. 

Provided, you assure me that by voting for Sardar Patel, 

the value of our desi currency will go up like a rocket! 

P.S.: ” Pls forward this too, my friend… yes, like a rocket!”

Believe me, for a change, I did forward this ‘rocket message’ to the qualified guy who had asked me to cast my valuable vote… and forward his message like fire!

Dumb fellows, we all are!

Funny, too!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: Supriya Chavan