Monday, December 3, 2012

DO EXPECTATIONS HURT?



















Today morning, I was supposed to start a new chapter for a group of students. I wanted all of them to be present for the first lecture, as, without the basics, they would find it difficult to cope with it later. 


“Come what may, don’t miss the initial few lectures,” I, always, make a great deal of fuss. 


Mostly, my fuss pays… My students don’t miss…


And, whenever some of them do, I get irritated and angry. 


Today, in spite of repeated reminders, over last three days – including personal phone calls – a young girl was absent. 


Strangely, I had already decided, right at the start of the day, today, that, come what may – I would not allow any student to affect my peace of mind. Yes, even if all of them remained absent, too!


It was a clear call I had made in my heart – all consciously, joyfully and with no ill-will or judgment. No, I wasn’t making this choice with suppressing my complaint, my feelings… I was making this call, because, I wanted to experience the bliss of not being controlled by another human being’s behavior, words or reaction towards me. 


And, believe me, it worked!


Only one girl was absent… I had personally called her last afternoon… had sent a late night reminder… and, now she was not there!


“It is alright,” I said, and I move on. 


Whatever the reason – and there must be some reason, including the all familiar “Sorry sir, I had over slept” – it is okay. I had chosen peace over perfection… I had chosen the divine way over my way… 


So, by allowing myself to be pliable… I escaped the onslaught of ‘failed expectations’!


Had I opted to tread the familiar route of holding on to my expectations, I would have, certainly, ended up getting hurt… and, spent the rest of my day fuming… handing over the keys of my mind’s sanity  to the hands of this young student… Yes, I would have suffered as a victim. A loser!


“Expectations hurt,” they say.


They do. 


But, why haven’t they hurt me, today?











"Two roads diverged in a wood, 


and I, I took the one less traveled by,

And… that has made all the difference."



I wonder if Robert Frost had ever imagined that his immortal lines could apply even a journey such as this!



GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: Aditi Kamath


6 comments:

Upendra Saxena said...

Such simple incident can teach so much!Wonderul! -- Upendra

Manoj Jadav said...

Great to read and learn. enriching. Keep writing Gerry.
...... Manoj

NEERJA MANTRI said...

Very well written sir. You always inspire. Thank you... Neerja

priya ram said...

Nice post. Thanks sir. Also, would like to share that, We expect the most from God. Yes, we ask Him for so many things.......we expect so much...but when we learn gradually to let go of all our expectations, God gives us the best, that which is best for us.....which we would have never expected or known about.....so lets drop all expectations and expect the unexpected........from God, and God never hurts.

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Thanks Priya... Keep reading and helping. Love. Sir

Vijay D'Costa said...

I think, we shd not be trying to live without expectations... Instead, we shd be living being aware of it! Liked the post. Thanks.

Vijay