SOMEONE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO HOLD MY SAFETY NET

“Nothing should buckle you down in Life… Not your fears… Not even your tears!”

Today, when I was telling this to a 30-year-old young-man, I found a new strength in my own heart. So strong was my conviction, so strong was my passion, that, I really wondered for a moment: “Was it for him I was telling this, or was it for myself?”

The young-man had called me some days back. “Sir, I need to talk to you about something that has made me depressed in life.” He had said, “When can I see you?”

We had met today to discuss the problem.

The young-man hails from a business family. His two sisters are married and well settled in life. He is married, has two small children and lives with his mother in a bungalow. When he was 14, his dad died of a sudden heart attack and, their life was not to be the same again. The mother, who, until then, lived within the four walls of her conservative household, now had to come out and learn to handle her husband’s rough business. It was a decision, this simple, conservative woman – with no business or educational exposure – had to make… Or, break, under the weight of her anxieties and fears. But, this woman surprised everybody by taking the ‘bull by its horn’!

The young-man, in the meanwhile, was fortunate enough to get graduated, married and be blessed with two lovely children. Above all, he was blessed with the love and affection of his mother, wife, children and the families of his two sisters.

But, despite all these blessings, the young man began to get anxious as he went about helping his mother run their business. Yes, they are, now, barely able to keep their head above the water level… There is stiff competition… A few legal cases over some ungrateful souls who have tried to cheat them… the unpleasant experience of a couple of bad business deals… yes, these are on the downside. But, on the upside, they have no creditors to worry about, no house loans or business loans to service. The bungalow is worth a few crores… the business assets, too, are worth some big amount. The health of his mother is good… The love, support and faith of his wife is unshaken… The children are wonderfully gifted… and, his own personality is endowed with God’s grace… He speaks fluently and comes about a fine human being…

Then, what is the problem with this young man?

“Sir, I am gripped by anxiety about my future… I am on medication for depression… I worry so much about the future – our business, our financial condition, our children… I worry about how I would handle the business without my mom… I worry about my wife’s health, my own health … This leaves me crippled with anxiety… Sleepless. I find losing interest in everything in life… including watching TV or reading newspaper. Most of the times, I am lost in my own world…” Then, he added, “Sir, I get numbed, at times, with the fear that we may come on streets!”

Well, the young-man is getting medically treated by a Psychiatrist. He has also been for counseling sessions from some Psychologists or Psychotherapists… All these have helped him and are helping...

Still, the fear-ghosts haven’t left his mind... He is still haunted by them!

What could I, a teacher, tell this young-man?

I took him to the time, his mom had to take a call – to quit or to say put…

I reminded him: if a conservative, inexperienced and uneducated woman could come out and face an uncertain life, was it not far easier for him to face it now?

I helped him look at the brighter side of the story: his wonderful physique, his fine hold on the language, his mentor and pillar of strength, his mother, who still is in good health and going strong, his supportive wife and sisters, his intelligent two little-ones… I asked him to take physical stock of his business and personal assets… I asked him to look at the untapped assets within him…

What is the worst thing that can happen?

Is he prepared to make some changes in life?

How much is needed, after all, to make a decent living?

Is not his mom, still there around and still going strong?

Has not his wife stayed with him in his good times and bad times?

Can this world ever become a ‘dry land’?

Can’t he learn some simple new skills?

How important is it for him to be a good example to his two little girls as his own mother was to him?”

Can he learn to be on his own feet, mentally… and less clinging on all support system?

How long he wants to live on medicines?

When sleep goes out at 3 in the night not to return, can he learn to go through some inspiring writings… do anything that can give him hope?

Can he join a Yoga class or Gym?

Can he visit some orphanage, old-age homes or a cancer hospital… just to see how ‘worse' it is for a vast majority, out there in the world?

I told him about Steve Jobs and Amitabh Bachchan… How they bounced back in life…

I told him about Nick Vujicic’s inspiring life without limbs…

“Fear the tiger when you meet him face-to-face in a jungle, but not when he is tightly locked up inside his cage,” I told him, “Life has been more certain than uncertain… Lifts don’t crash all the time, nor do bridges collapse every second day… You were 14, when your dad died… For sixteen long-years, Life has been kind to you… It will be so for another 14-thousand years to come… There is something that looks after everything and everyone… and gives us the strength to face every challenge on our way through this life…” I was telling him all this... 

and, as I was telling him, I could feel – so clearly – 

how true was all that I was telling him: 

“Is there not enough for all of us, all the time?”

“I am glad I saw you, today, sir,” the young-man said as he was about to leave, “I am determined to get hold my life, for sure.”

“You will, dear,” I pressed his hands, “Nothing should buckle you down in Life… Not your fears… Not even your tears!”

And, as I wind up this Post, now, I am still left wondering:

“Was it for him I was telling all this, or was it for myself?

“Who was this young-man?”

“Who was the teacher he had come to see?”

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: Savita Lodha
Video: YouTube