GIVING WINGS TO OTHERS

Back in my home town, Mangalore, when I was in school, I had a friend. They lived in a small rented house and his parents had financially tough times. My friend had two brothers and three sisters. The eldest sister had married a gentleman from Mumbai and was settled here, in Mumbai. This gentleman – a very cultured, generous soul – was very concerned with his wife’s family. Having no children of their own for many years, this man and his wife took exceptional care of the rest in the family. I remember how my own friend was helped in every respect. When he passed his junior college, he, and his youngest sister, who had just passed her tenth standard, were called to Mumbai. Here, both of them were sent to the best institutions. When they became graduates, they were also helped to find good jobs… The sister was married into a good family. Back home, two other brothers and a sister were helped in every possible manner. The elderly parents were also taken care of financially by this good soul…

All this went on for many years… till all brothers and sisters settled in life. Then, things changed…

Except the sisters, the three brothers have blissfully forgotten the humble days when their brother-in-law would patronize them, playing the role of their parent and guardian, all selflessly. Now, all the brothers have made lots of properties, educated their children, but have cut off the links with their benevolent sister and her husband.

My own link with my school buddy lasted till he graduated in Mumbai. I did not know what happened after that… to all of them.

Today, after so many years, my friend’s brother-in-law, called me up. It was a real surprise. We spoke for a long time, and, during the course of our discussion, the gentleman narrated to me the strained relationships with his sister’s three brothers and their families. What was endearing and inspiring about it was that, both this sister and her husband, haven’t kept any complaints or regrets in their hearts. “They were very small and those were tough times,” today, the gentleman told me over the phone, “they needed our help; and, we precisely provided that – we gave them wings!”

I was told, today, that the three brothers, despite their rapid success in life, were unwilling to take care of their aged parents. So, that caused the divide: the sisters on one side and the three brothers on the other. Eventually, the sisters took care of the ailing parents till they lived.

I did not go deep into the family matter. I only added, philosophically, “Sir, such is life; you both did what you had to. There lies in your act, its own reward!”

Is it ‘Nishkam Karma’… or, is it one of the Paradoxical Commandments - “People will forget what good you have done to them; but, do good anyway!”? Whatever it is, in life, it is very much there in operation…

When you give wings to others, it is an act of love, care and hope… Nobody compels you to do this act… You are compelled by your own voice within… You listen to that voice, and empower another… Give him wings so that he can fly in life…

Fly on his own…

Be his own man…

That’s all it is… Yes, that’s all, as this Zen quote beautifully sums up:

“If you love something,

Set it free;

If it comes back,

It is yours;

If it doesn’t,

It never was!”

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Vimmi Batra