BEING USEFUL NOT JUST IN LIFE, BUT IN DEATH, TOO
Pic.: Elaine Pereira
I knew a man who had made some easy-money. He suffered from
an acute inferiority complex, which he tried to cover-up by going overboard
trying to please and impress people around him, particularly, the ones who, he
thought, came from educated, well-off and respected families. He had come from obscure
background with no education or even ethics... made some big-money taking
short-cuts, bought many properties including many fine cars... But, at the end
of the day, it did not make him feel, inside, good at all... What he, really
craved for was respect from people around him, who he thought were ‘good’
people... But, what he failed to realize was, that he could not win their trust
through the route he had chosen to – by showing off his wealth and misplaced
sophistication.
I remember him taking some of us to his
residence to show his 60”-TV when Plasma TV had just come in... showing us,
with pride, the Ganesh idol made of pure gold... talking about the properties
and cars he possessed, the gold his wife wore and, even, the amount of money he
had spent to install aesthetic teeth-set in his mouth made of pure gold!
Yes, the man did all this for one thing: to get
accepted by us – the ones, he thought, were respected in the Society... All
that he wanted was a validation from us!
Poor soul! When he died, some years later, I
was there by the funeral pyre... as his body - including the ‘golden-teeth’ -
was reduced to ashes!
He could never win our hearts; he could
never go with a true sense of being accepted and validated... His property,
cars and gold served none, least of all himself... They failed to fill in him
the sense of being useful... either in life or in death!
And, just a week ago, when 57-year-old Mrs. Kavita Karkare
(The widow of 26/11 martyr, Hemant Karkare) died, she ended up giving life to
many strangers around... Her liver would save the life of a 48-year-old patient
from Kokilaben Ambani Hospital; one of her kidneys would save life of a
59-year-old patient from Jaslok and another kidney would do it for a
48-year-old patient from Hinduja... Her two eyes would give sight to patients through
Haji Bachooali Eye Bank!
This woman, and her three young-children,
won not just my heart but millions of other other hearts, too, all over the
world. It was a quiet, dignified and respectful act – and, it needed validation
from none around the grieving family. By one honest act, they left us a lot
moved, humbled and inspired...
“One can be useful to people around not just
in life, but, in death, too!” I could hear me saying, as I saw myself, in my
heart, standing by Mrs. Karkare’s pyre, “You have my 21-gun-salutes ma’am!”
GERALD D’CUNHA
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