MAKING PEACE WITH OUR PAST
Pic.: Usha Prasadh
A dear friend of mine, who lives in the
US, wrote to me, yesterday:
“Reading your post, ‘Who is the
Leopard?’, makes me wonder about this: ‘When a person is not glorifying or
justifying his past...’ How do you make peace with the past when the person
finds ways to justify and/or glorify the past and does not accept or recognize
the role he/she had to play in the wrong that was done?
It is hard to move on in that case and
the wound does stay alive. One may not dig gory past, but it’s hard to forgive and move
on...”
I fully agree with what my friend had
voiced in her comment.
It is easy to forgive when the other
person sincerely apologizes for hurting me in the past... Similarly, it is easy
for the other person to forgive me for hurting him or her in the past when I
apologize sincerely to him or her...
It is relatively not that easy to
forgive the other person for hurting me in the past when I do not hear an
apology from him or her. Similarly, it is equally not easy for the other person
to forgive me when he or she does not hear it from me, too. But, we have stopped
glorifying or justifying our respective past actions (which had caused hurts), the
road to forgiveness is not fully blocked...
The toughest thing to do is to forgive
one another when we keep glorifying and justifying our respective past
actions... and refuse to budge, refuse to show any kind of remorse...
In fact, if at all there is something
called true forgiveness in life, it takes place in the thick of our
glorification and justification of our past actions...
Just imagine, if I have to wait to make peace
with the past till the other person stops justifying and glorifying his past actions! It is akin to a life-imprisonment of the worst kind – because, it is
self-imposed!
Japan attacked Peal Harbor first and
killed more than 2,500 American soldiers besides destroying ships and property worth
billions of dollars. Worst, it woke up a sleeping giant, who, till then, had refused
to participate in the madness called ‘The World War – 2’...
Soon, the wounded giant hit back at
Japan – which was the only country refusing to surrender and end the war - by dropping Atom Bombs on Hiroshima and
Nagasaki, killing over two-lakh innocents and maiming for life millions more... yes, besides destroying two
cities completely!
Today, almost seventy years later,
America and Japan are best friends. None of them wants to talk about their
bitter past – who started it all, why, when etc... Their leaders, today, know,
deep down in their hearts, that what had happened was not right, not good...
and, they have silent repentance about it...
Still, till today, the Emperor of
Japan has not been heard saying publicly, “We are sorry; it was we who had
provoked you first.”
Nor, till today, any American President
has been heard saying, “We are sorry; whatever the provocation, Nuclear Bomb
was too heinous a response.”
So, what we see, here, is that none of
them has asked a public apology; but, they are not glorifying or justifying
what had happened in the past...
It is possible to feel the power of forgiveness
in this case... For, the unspoken message is: “We are sorry.”
It was Pontius Pilate, a Roman leader,
who sentenced Jesus to be hanged on the cross... It was the Roman soldiers who
had brutally tortured Him... It was the Roman government who had vowed to wipe
out Christianity right in its bud...
Then, what happened?
Right at the heart of Rome stands the epicenter
called ‘Vatican’... Rome is a Christian nation now!
Forgiveness, in its true sense, can
never be for the sake of ‘other person’... It is for our own sake...
It cannot be at the behest of other
person... It is at our own behest...
It has nothing to do with ‘public
apologies’... It has everything to do with ‘private apologies’...
Finally, forgiveness is not an ‘act’...
It is just a clear realization, deep in our hearts, that somewhere the vicious
cycle has to end... And, the best place – and nearest place - to end it is my
own heart...
The less we rationalize on it, the
better!
GERALD D’CUNHA
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