'STUDYING' AND 'LEARNING'

Pic.: Usha

Usha was a dear student of mine, some twenty-five years ago. She hailed from a very conservative South-Indian family. For the past fifteen years, she has been living in the US with her wonderful family, which consists of her doting hubby, two well-groomed teenager-sons and their lovely princess, Rudy. (Their dog!).

Usha has been a regular reader of my Blog, providing me with her valuable insights and feedback, time to time. Late last night, I saw this feedback from her in my Inbox. It was in response to my previous Post – ‘Turned 18? Boy, Time to Do Dishes’.

Gerry, this is with regard to your recent post - "Turned 18? Boy, Time To Do Dishes".

When I started teaching my boys to do their own laundry when they were 8-and-9 -year old, I knew I was teaching them responsibility and a life skill which I could not, suddenly, teach them when they were 18 and about to leave home.

Every week, the boys would be expected to do their laundry, which was, basically, starting the washer, transferring to the dryer and removing from the dryer and folding it and putting it away in their closet.

Granted, in the beginning, the clothes did not, always, get folded the way I would fold them. Sometimes, I had to remind them; but, they learnt to do it. If they did not do their laundry, they did not have clean clothes of their choice. Of course, they had plenty of clothes to wear...they were very blessed to have a closet full of clothes. But at a very young age, they learnt that their favorite Jeans might not be available on that Monday. I was chided and criticized for my parenting style by others in the extended family, saying things like "This is time for them to be a child... They have all their adult life to be responsible, etc.” But, I knew that I was doing the right thing.

Now, at 14 and 16 years of age, my boys not only do a great job of doing their laundry, they, also, prefer to do it themselves, the way it satisfies them. My 14-year-old, even, offers to do our laundry (for a small allowance!). And, when they are busy with their high-school assignments or final exams, they can still come and request me, their mom, to help with their laundry and I will be more than happy to help them out.

I know when my boys leave home to go to college, they can take care of their dirty clothes without mom! (They, also, know to cook, do dishes and clean their bathrooms). I feel like I did allow them to be a child in many ways, but I, also, am empowering them to be successful and independent in life, and, for that, I am thankful to my boys for being so willing to learn and support my parenting ideas.

Gerry, I thought I would share with you... Not to brag, by any means, but, just to share my parenting success-experience with you and your readers. I am, also, sending you some photos of my boys. I prefer their pics to be not shared publicly, if possible.

With love and regards,

USHA

As  parents, what do we want our children to do: ‘Study’ or ‘Learn’?

In my previous Post, I had tried to convey the difference between the two, which, essentially, stemmed from our two contrasting-outlooks towards parenting.

Usha’s experience with regard to teaching her boys to be responsible quite early in life and empowering them with life-skills... validates what I wanted to convey in my last Post...

Hope, it will help many of my readers...

LOVE