THE ART OF DISAGREEMENT
Do
we have to agree with everything everyone says every time?
The ‘everyone’
may be my best friend, parents, teachers, authorities and the government?
My son is 27 and
I am 61. When he was a baby, yes, he agreed with whatever I tried to teach him
or convey… It’s no more so, now. And, that’s how it should be… I, seriously,
think so.
The movies, music,
icons, leaders and philosophy that I love, my son may not… my wife may not.
But, we are not enemies, we are not each other’s conspirators. In fact, I
wonder, at times, if my son and wife had agreed with everything I believed in
and every time… what kind of mind theirs would have been!
Herd mentality… Just
think about it!
For thirty
years, The Dawn Club has been helping young ones and little ones to speak and
debate in public. Our senior Sir, Mr. Ramakrishnan, would, often, use the
phrase – ‘The Parliamentarian Language’… to convey to us all, that we should be
civil, gentle, graceful and, yet, forceful in our arguments.
Things are getting
uglier and meaner as the years roll by… The Parliaments – and I am not just referring
to ours – are no more the once hailed ‘sanctum sanctorum’. Little kids and our
young ones – and, most importantly, we the parents – watch our leaders and news
anchors and think that’s how we should argue – show our disagreements – in the
modern days…
The ‘Primetime
debates’, they call it… Oh no… For God’s sake, that’s not the art of debate our
young ones should inculcate… That’s not the way they should put forth their disagreements!
“Lose an argument,
but, don’t lose a customer,” this has been an old-and-tested sales
philosophy. I think, this philosophy is not just confined to sales. It applies
everywhere… from Parliaments, TV Channels to our drawing rooms, Sir…
More and more
people have started believing that ‘name-calling’, like, “He is a Chor”,
“Pappu”, “Feku” and all such colourful descriptions as the Brahmastras
of debate…
If alone,
someone had tutored them on Graham’s theory – ‘The Hierarchy of Disagreement’!
The ‘Pappu’
and the ‘Feku’… yes, this kind of weaponry is used in the lowest form,
according to Graham’s theory… ‘Name calling’, he calls it. Unfortunately, this
form is a norm now… No logic needed, no substance… Just snub. Just go for the
kill as you open your mouth!
If you argue
with a young boy or a girl, who has decided to hold the placard for saving the green
lungs of Mumbai - the Aarey forests - with the question, “Where were you when they
destroyed forests to build the Film City?”, how do you want the young one to reply…
Yes, ‘Don’t ask me that… For, I wasn’t born then’!”
“Where were you
when the Delhi riots happened?” Or, “Where were you when the Gujarat riots
happened?” If you ask a young one, when
he or she argues with you about present situation in Kashmir… Yes, how do you
expect them to answer you?
That’s why Nehru
comes alive again, and again and again, even after so many decades!
It is the way to
distract… and, such arguments lead nowhere!
It’s
time we enrolled in the old school of debates… It’s okay if my son, wife, students,
friends, neighbours, associates and others hold a different placard. Making space
for their views makes me ‘large-hearted’ and ‘broad-minded’…
Alas! Many of us
have not realized, how badly we have brought ourselves to the lowest ranks of
the hawaldars of ‘Troll Army’… How sadly, we have joined the ‘Herd’!
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic.: 1. Aarey Conservation Group 2. Graham's Hierarchy of Disagreement
Videos: 1. Mirror Now 2. Republic World
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