WE LIE LOUDEST, WHEN WE LIE TO OURSELVES

When we are in a position of power, we can scream angrily, suppress others with our caustic, sarcastic, angry words… and, yes, we can easily get away with it. But, the one place from where we cannot get away is: from our own ‘conscience’.

But, what if our conscience is dead?

When I said, ‘position of power’, I never meant the position of the Prime Minister or the Chief Justice of India or the Army General… I meant: as a parent of my children, as a teacher of my students, as the Principal of my school etc.

Angry words and screaming, sure, get us the attention. We learnt it as little babies… Remember the old saying: “The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease”?

I haven’t been in high power zones… My zones are the commonplace ones… I am a parent, a husband, a brother, an uncle, a teacher etc.… and my world revolves around it. But, in this limited zone itself, I am able to realize how much I ‘misuse’ my position to have my way. But, then, God hasn’t forsaken me, yet… He has kept my conscience alive and pricking. So, every time I succumb to this easy route of ‘getting my grease’, I sense the isolation in my soul and find myself reminding: “That’s not a fair victory”!

Our justification in support of our anger and screaming only shows our lack of maturity. Yes, as Eric Hoffer said, “We lie loudest, when we lie to ourselves.”

Many of us have read this beautiful post by Paulo Coelho:

A master asked his disciples:

‘Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?’

the disciples thought for a while, and one of them said
‘Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.’

‘But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you? ‘Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you’re angry?’

The disciples gave him some other answers but none satisfied the master.

Finally, he explained:
‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance, they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.’

Then the master asked:
‘What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small…’

And he concluded:
‘When they love each other even more, what happens?

‘They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love.

‘Finally, they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’

Well, at the end of our ‘shouting matches’, we all have to ‘come home’ to rest. Yes, that home called our ‘silent hearts’. And, if we are still not able to experience this silence in our hearts, then, we are those proverbial – and perennial – ‘empty vessels’…

Yes, we will continue to make the loudest sound!

GERALD D’CUNHA

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