MY INVOLUNTARY TEARS

 



“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance;

it’s the illusion of knowledge.”

Daniel J. Boorstin

 

A few things, which I claim, “I know”, often, make me arrogant. And, unless, someone shakes me hard to make me realize the fact, that, there are so many things, which “I don’t know” – yes, till then, I tend to think this world revolves around me…

How silly and how small I am!

For example, right since my schooldays, I have been not only bad in technology, I have also been suffering from its phobia. Today, my commonsense tells me, that these phobias are my baseless fears… Many of them – all of them, rather – can be overcome. Yet, I haven’t stopped to work on many of them. So, they are still there in my life sending me on a panic mode quite regularly…

The little problems I face in my daily life – be it related to plumbing, electrical work, computer, internet, mobile phone etc. - are enough to put me under stress. Need I have the required skills to fix them? Probably, what I need is the peace – that, these are just some of the things “I don’t know” … There are so many more!

But, am I unable to learn them?

It’s like asking the plumber, the electrician, the cable boy, the mobile-repair guy this question: “Are you guys able to teach like me?”



Darshit* is a S.Y. B.M.S. student of mine. “Full-on masti” … “Happy-go-lucky” … “Laid-back fellow” … “Zestless” … “Casual character” … “Irresponsible” … “Goal-less” …. Yes, give me some more taglines like these to describe him. We teachers have been lavishly washing his ‘thick skin’ with these detergents for years. But, “No matter what detergent we use to wash a crow, it would never turn into a dove.”… We have said it, heard it – so often – right?

And, then, the day before, when I wanted to learn some things (including the most basic ones) about Zoom meetings, I turned to my ‘useless’ boy for help. The kind-hearted boy, thanks to the ‘thick skin’ he was accused of wearing – was so excited to help me… that, half-way through my class, he asked me, enthusiastically, “Shall I teach you, Sir? It’s very simple.”

So, my ‘laidback’ student started tutoring me with such love, passion and patience for nearly one-and-half hours. In the process, he blissfully forgot (I am sure, intentionally!) about his another online-session, with another teacher… I felt guilty about it. But, he felt very, very happy and proud, that he had taught his teacher!

I remembered the plumber, the electrician, the cable boy, the mobile-repair guy… “Are you guys able to teach like me?”

Yes, they can; but, the stuff they are good at… Just like my ‘happy-go-lucky Darshit. The only thing Darshit did not say loudly is what we teachers have been vocal about: “Teaching you is like making the donkey drink water from the pond!”

Kind soul!



And, yesterday, from 11 a.m. to 1.30 p.m., my dear ex-student and now a friend, Gaurav* (a CA and a technology-freak!), taught me how to work on Excel. Gaurav has a very practical approach to almost everything in life… He is, often, my ‘Man Friday’… Playfully I tell him, “You’re the Venkat in my Sankat!” Still, when it comes to speaking or writing effectively in English, he struggles like a fish out of water; he looks up to us…

And, how humbling – and how beautiful – that is!

My hands still tremble, mind still becomes blank, body still sweats and heart still beats fast when it comes to so many ‘little learnings’ in life… Is it fine? Am I normal?

Last night, before going to bed, I was so overwhelmed by this phenomenon in my life, that I saw my bosoms choked, voice cracking and tears simply rolling down my cheeks… “Are you okay?” my wife wanted to know, “Please share.”

I wasn’t able to pin-point why was there this sudden emotional surge in my bosoms… My wife let me be…

I wrote this Post today, and baptized it with the name: ‘My Involuntary Tears’!

 

*Names changed

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic's: pixabay

 

Video: Andre Rieu

 

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