BEING ABLE TO FEEL THAT LIGHTNESS



“Grace means undeserved kindness.

It is the gift of God to man the moment he sees

he is unworthy of God’s favour.”\

Twight L. Moody

 

One question, which many of my dear ones ask me while wishing me on my birthday, is this: “So, what is the plan for the day?”… Or, “How did you spend the day?” This means - “What’s special?”

Let me tell you this: Just as my dear ones ask me this question, I, too, ask the same question to them… Yes, "What’s special?”

It’s my 66th birthday on 24th of this month. Was it ‘special’ in any sense? Was there a ‘plan’?

If by ‘special’ or ‘plan’ means something cozy in a fine-dine restaurant, or a vacation at an exotic location – No, I did not have anything ‘special or ‘planned’… It was just like another day, which had begun and ended just like any other day…

But, yes, it had, most certainly, made me conscious of a couple of things about my life…

I was still able to walk, talk, see, hear, feel, laugh, cry – and, above all, work and feel productive, useful… and never to forget, feel loved, cared for… The list goes on…

I was able to feel the closeness of my family… I was able to feel that strength, that bond…

I was able to feel the friendship of so many of my well-wishers – near and far… I could feel, that they thought of me as a gentle, giving soul… and, what a feeling that’s! What a blessing!

I was, also, able to feel how small, how human I was… with all my vulnerabilities, insecurities, and reactiveness. I could see how far I had to walk to reach that land of restful mind and heart…





Frankly, on my ‘special day’, I was asking God, ‘specially’, to make me less reactive, more tolerant and accommodating… I was asking Him to teach me to say, more and more – ‘It’s okay’… ‘It’s okay’.

Every birthday is ‘special’, no doubt. But, if it doesn’t make me conscious of my unconquered human flaws – what’s ‘special’ about it?

So, even though I don’t answer in this way to all my dear ones when they ask me – “What’s special today?”, or “What’s the plan?”, I answer to myself… “What a blessing it is to be able to get up, dress up and show up even at 66… and to feel this gift of underserved kindness…

As the Poet says, there are miles to go… It’s the time to go down on my knees and thank, seek forgiveness and help…

That’s the ‘Plan’…

 



GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic’s.:Pixaby

Video: The Jungle Dairies

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