DO YOU CONDUCT TESTS?
“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”
Benjamin Franklin
One
of the questions many parents frequently ask me is this: “Do you conduct tests?”
Well, I don’t
have to explain to you as to where that question comes from. After all, they want
their young ones to ‘score well’ in their exams. So, a good score means good
learning. Conversely, a poor score means poor learning (poor teaching, to be
blunt!). I assume, that the insistence on regular tests comes from there…
Fair enough…
I lay a great
deal of emphasis on my students’ attitude along side their aptitude. “Put your
heart and soul and learn… Learn like it’s a story… Get hold of the concepts…
Learn logically, with a practical bent of mind… Stay self-motivated… Stay focused,
passionate and committed.”… This is my daily charging in the class… “Marks are
the by-product of your work, not the main product,” I keep drilling into the
young minds.
Mercifully, many
parents and students understand the depth of my philosophy. But, there are many
others, who don’t…
Today
is my Mom’s 90th birthday. For the last two years, she has been
confined to her bed and the wheelchair, unable to move, eat, recognize… She is
fully dependent on the love and care from her eldest son, Franklin and his wife
Merlyn. About two years ago, following her fall, Mom’s condition had become
critical. That’s the time I had started working on a book on her… I had titled
it – “The Good Shepherd and Her Lost Sheep’. In the Section 1 of this book, I
had shared stories about her impact on my growing-up years. In this Post, I
wish to share one such story…
THERE WILL BE BIGGER EXAMS IN LIFE
As
a teenager, my self-confidence had been extremely low. I constantly suffered
from an inferiority complex, what, today, they call ‘social anxiety’. It was
not only a chronic one; it was, also, a killing one!
But,
at that time, I was not in a position to know what it was, nor I was in a
position to ask about it from my parents. I endlessly compared myself with
others and felt horrible about myself… I thought, everything about me was ugly
– my looks, my walk, my talk, my clothes, my English, my condition at home, my
lifestyle, even my parents… I felt inferior about everything…. I felt there was
nothing good about me… I was worthless!
Ironically,
I was feeling so, despite being praised as a ‘wonderful boy’ by almost everyone
around. It’s like someone said, ‘Standing knee-deep in water and dying of
thirst’!
Those
who go through a chronic inferiority-complex can vouch for this experience!
I
was, perennially, thinking about my future and
feeling anxious. It was showing mentally and physically, both… My hands
would shiver involuntarily and make me feel embarrassed. To avoid
embarrassment, I was trying to hide myself from ‘public’… I had, slowly,
stopped going for weddings, social gatherings and, even, church services.
To
make my condition worse, I was too self-conscious about my English. I was from
a vernacular medium (Kannada) and I spoke Konkani at home. So, English was a
nightmare for me… I envied those who spoke fluent English and let my mind
suffer even more.
Invariably,
one of the biggest casualties of social anxiety is your academic performance.
Due to the low self-confidence, you dare not to have dreams and lofty goals,
which include the academic excellence. In my case, the same was the reality… My
marks were pathetic!
As
I said, those were my days of ignorance. Reading motivational books, attending
self-development workshops, watching
empowering videos etc. – well, to this village boy, these things were to
happen much later in life. The boy kept his feelings to himself, and suffered
endlessly, assuming, that it was a ‘disease’!
One
day, I had come home after writing my class 11(We called it First PUC) final
exam in English. My Mom saw me frightened and
sob uncontrollably. I had messed up the exam. I was not able to complete
the paper and worried about failing. “Mom, I will fail in First PUC,” I was
crying.
My
Mom, who had hardly faced any school-and-college exams in her life, pulled me
close to her and said, “Don’t’ cry, son… There will be bigger exams in life.”
I
did not understand what she had meant by ‘bigger exams in life’, even though I
felt comforted.
By
the time I landed in class 12 (Second PUC), I had started liking the English
subject because of good English teachers. We had stories from Shakespeare and
Kalidasa and a quiet fascination for storytelling had begun to simmer in my
bosoms.
And,
by the time I landed in F.Y. B.Com, my self-confidence was all set to go up… I
was watching Prof. B. S. Raman, the legendary teacher and author in St.
Aloysius College, and dreaming to become like him – a fine teacher, writer,
and, yes, an idealist. My faith and dream had become stronger than my fears and
self-doubts… I was destined to convert my two biggest handicaps – my fear of
English and stage – into my biggest strengths. I ended up not only becoming a
fine teacher and writer, I ended up helping thousands of young boys and girls
beat their own fears and self-doubts. My relentless blogging and decades of
work through The Dawn Club were the direct offshoot of my own killing
inferiority-complex as a young boy.
It
took many, many, many defeats and triumphs to understand the meaning of what
Mom had said to me on seeing me cry, fearing I would fail in an exam: “Don’t’
cry, son… There will be bigger exams in life.”
Yes,
there have been, many… And, there will be, many more!
So,
the question the parents – particularly mothers – ask me, “Do you conduct
tests?”
I remember my
Mom every time I am asked this question…
“Happy B’day Mom…
Love, gratitude and prayers.”
GERALD
D’CUNHA
Pic’s:1. Josh Willink/Pixel 2. Alcel Villa
Video: Pushpendra Kumar
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