MY NEEDS, AND MY WANTS

My needs keep me going, free; my wants keep me enchained, imprisoned.

I woke up, this morning at 5.00. A light, hot cup of tea took care of my well-being till 9.30. I had a bowl of salad, made of boiled peas, tomatoes and onion. I am really done.

For the lunch, I have packed for me two chapatis and a cauliflower dish. That would sustain my appetite till 5.00 in the evening. I will have a hot cup of coffee, and some toasts. I need not worry till 9.00 in the night. Some rice, daal and a vegetable dish ... the supper is over.

A good sleep of six to seven hours, till it is another morning.

What else is required to keep my zest for life on?

I read a lot.

I write a lot.

I talk to my friends, well-wishers and family members a lot.

I go out with my family to watch good movies, occasionally.

I walk some distance, every day.

I do some light exercises, including the breathing ones, every morning.

I like to enter the kitchen to cook, sometimes ... to clean up the mess that piles up.

I go to church, when my heart says - 'Go'.

I help the needy, quietly, in my own way.

I express my love, and I express my need for it, too.

I express my fears and insecurities, and ask apologies, too.

I go wild, at times ... and hurt others ...

But, then, when that leaves me in turmoil, I reconcile.

When others hurt me, I sulk, go into my cave ...

But, then, I come out, soon, taking my own hand ... "Enough," I shout at me.

Past is anger for me, too. It is poison, I know.

Future fills me, too, with anxiety. "What will happen?" is my question, too.

Sickness worries me, too ... So do my bills.

Dreams spring in my heart, too ... So do the disappointments.

And, in spite of being blessed by the same God and cursed by the same Devil, I have come to this simple conclusion:

That, if my basic needs are taken care of, that is enough. More than enough.


GERALD D'CUNHA