TEAR YOUR HEART... AND SHARE WITH THEM

Should parents discuss with their young children the financial problems at home?

I really think, they should.

Now, many parents do not let their young-ones know the kind of financial pressures that prevail at home. They think, their young sons and daughters should not feel the brunt… That they should be made to feel that everything is going okay…

Everything is not going okay, dear!

The young-boys and girls at home are not babies any more. They are young adults… They are going to be responsible house-holders soon… Then, they will have the same question before them: “Should our financial problems be discussed with our young-ones or not?”

They should, I repeat…

This morning, a mother had brought her young daughter to enroll in twelfth. They were opting for only two subjects and, looking at the way they carried themselves, I couldn’t imagine that there was a crushing financial problem at their place. Mother opened up quickly and asked me if I could accommodate in some way by way of small installments. I could feel the embarrassment on her face as, by all means, they were quite well-off all along, and this crisis had come upon them quite recently.

Yes, it was true. They had a good time all the way. About two years ago, the husband of this woman, had suffered a massive loss in his business and was still unable to recover from it. A bill of say Rs.1,000/- or Rs.2,000/- was now a nightmare!

As the mother was negotiating with me, I found the high-end cellphone in the daughter’s hand… So many of calls she had to attend… from so many friends!

Obviously, the mother was not liking it. At one stage, she blasted. Then, she cried…

The girl wanted to change her college. The local college had uniform… The students were too ‘simple… The teachers were too strict… The attendance was compulsory… So, she was fighting with her parents, at home, to send her to a ‘town college’. Yes, even if they had to pay a huge donation…

“Ma’am, do you regularly discuss the financial problems at home with your young daughter?” I asked the lady.

“They don’t understand, sir,” the mother replied.

“Beta, do you know the problems your parents are facing at home?” I asked the seventeen-year old.

“What problems?” the girl grinned at her mother!

The mother couldn’t take it… Tears rolled down her cheeks… and, there was silence in the room.

After a while, I took over. Such things come from my heart very naturally… 

I let the young-one know why she had to understand and empathize with her parent’s crushing financial pressures… How it would make her in life a fine, strong and a compassionate soul…

I let the mother know why she had to open-up her heart before her young daughter… How it would serve as an empowering and enlightening lesson on her part as a parent of a young-soul… I told her, if she did not ‘sensitize’ her daughter about these basic issues in life, she would only harm the young-one’s growth…

In the end, tears rolled down the daughter’s cheeks, too!

Parents should open-up before their young sons and daughters about the money problems at home…

How will your young-ones know about 

any of your problems 

unless you share it with them?

For your young-ones’ sake, do tear your heart before them and share your problems with them…

They do understand… They are old enough for that…

They have not been, only, sensitized enough… 

That’s all, ma’am.

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Gloria Pinto