GIVING THEM THE ROOTS AND THE WINGS

“There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children.

One of these is roots, the other, wings. ”

Henry Ward Beecher

Sometimes, I wonder as to why parents keep drillings into their children’s heads those basic values, even though the children seem not interested…

I did not see the value of those values when my own simple parents tried to drill them into my tiny head, yes, back in those village days…

And, here in this big city, I found myself doing the same thing with my own little son… As all parents did, my wife and I began to drill the basic values into our child’s mind… And, we did it even though, like all other children, he seemed not interested… and, whether or not he saw the value of those values…

Parents know as to how valuable those basic values are… And, they also know how important it is to inculcate them into their children’s minds when the minds are very supple, very tender…

When I reflect on this common phenomenon, I get more and more convinced, that parents, instinctively, yearn to provide strong roots for their little-ones. Basic values are the basic roots… the deeper they go, the taller and stronger the tree will grow to be, tomorrow…

Yes, as parents, the first and the lasting bequest we can ever hope to provide to our children are the strong and nourishing roots… Everything else can come to our children, tomorrow, only from this… The glory, the might, the grace… everything!

The other bequest is the wings.

This is one of the most burning desires of every parent… That, they want their offspring to soar high and high in life… They want them to succeed. Thus, all that follows is a persistent process of providing wings to their little-ones… 

And, not just the wings, the parents are the constant 

wind beneath their children’s’ wings, too!

While the roots will ensure that the tree would withstand any rough storm along, the wings will ensure the individuality and freedom. It is love that drives the parents to provide robust roots to their little-hearts; it is the same love that drives them to hold them, with open hands, before the vast skies… so that they are now ready to soar high… Free!

Kahlil Gibran so beautifully tells the parents: 

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

True, therefore, what Henry Beecher said:

“There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children.

One of these is roots, the other, wings. ”

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Rajiv Sharma
Kahlil Gibran text courtesy: 'The Prophet'